DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BESTFRIEND....RIGHT?

A few years ago the movie Blood Diamonds opened my eyes to what are more commonly known as conflict diamonds because they are mined in mainly West African countries in very subpar conditions and controlled by militants to fund their war efforts. They typically enslave the local people in the area, including, women and children, and force them to mine diamonds that are then sold to various countries including London and the United States. Our African brothers and sisters are being killed for “precious” diamonds, you know, that bling-bling which has become a staple symbol of love and wealth. Kind of ironic how Africans are being killed which is a HATEful crime – just so we can offer diamonds to those we LOVE.

Now, they say there are places like Botswana where they actually hire miners and the diamonds are not conflict originated.

So my question to you is: Are diamonds the only stone that is a symbol of love?

Single Ladies
Real talk!!!!! Would you be heart broken if your fiancé didn’t buy you a diamond?
Is there another stone you find just as or even more beautiful?

Single Guys
Are diamonds the only ring to show a woman you love her?
Do you feel you must buy your fiancé a diamond? If so will you look in buying conflict-free diamonds or will you look into purchasing an alternative stone?

Married Women
How would you feel if the ring you wear every day was possibly a conflict diamond? Would you have been upset if your husband didn’t buy a diamond?

Married Men
Is it important to you that your wife wears a diamond? If you could do it over, would you buy a different stone for her?

MUSIC LOVER

Music can inspire you, fire you up, get you down – and most of all it taps into your emotions and will send you wildly into portals of your memory where fleeting thoughts are waiting for the melodic recall. Once there, you may find pure sadness or pure joy but the ride music takes us on is always worth shot gun.

Below is a list of some of my mood music. What’s your mood music of choice?

“I’m gonna be okay…no matter what”
Erykah Badu – Mama’s Gun
Bob Marley – Legend
Amel Larrieux - Bravebird

“I’m angry and need to calm down”
Kem – II

“I’m angry and I like it”
Dead Prez – Let’s Get Free
Makaveli – The Don Kiluminati


“Love is in the air, do you smell it?”
Me’Shelle Ndegeocello – Comfort Woman
Mary J Blige – My Life
Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing
Carl Thomas – Emotional
The Whispers – Love Is Where You Find It


You can use my categories or you can write down your mood music any way that you chose.

NEW AGE DESPERATE WOMEN

Why are women acting so desperate?

If the collective of women are desperate, it HURTS the position for the women who feel a man should pursue her - and not the other way around.

On the flip side, the collective of men are not exercising chilvery and doing the bare minimum to get the women they seek. This actually HELPS the position for the few men that are rightous because women aren't used to seeing "real" men anymore.

Will women ever stop acting desperate? What do we have to do to get our respect back?

AND…

Will men ever go back to courting women? What will it take for them to recognize the beauty and admiration they have for their mothers, is within all women and should be honored?

DO YOU TRUST EASILY?

It's been said you should believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.

How do you deal with trust? Do you instantly rely on your intuition or do you believe it takes time and everyone should have a chance to prove themselves to be trust worthy?

I TEXT YOU TO DEATH

We are so inundated with the speed of transmitting information that the meaning and validity of the messages are lost in transmission.

People will text each other to death before they love each other to death. I don't care what anyone says, if you have the time to text, you have the time to call. Now of course no one can deny how convenient texting is and how very useful it is in situations like just letting someone know you're on your way to meet them or just to say hello. What I refer to as text death are for those of us who build relationships via text. The irony is we are texting....on a phone, the very phone that was designed...to talk on. No text can replace the sound and vibration of a persons voice.

Now, I've always preferred typing over talking. Remember the skytel two-ways from back in the day? I absolutely loved that little gadget but at that time only those of us in the entertainment field and the entertainment wanna-be's had one. In fact, the word "texting" hadn't even been coined. We were just happy to meet people with them so we could "beam" our contact information to one another. I was only able to contact those in my circle as the rest of the world was still getting acclimated to email and analog cell phones.

Now I'm having people text me books that come in 3-parts; expressing ambiguous thoughts and I can't tell if they are legit or bogus; using acronyms that I have to google to discover its connotation before I can even respond; getting dirty jokes that come equipped with perverted photos; and my favorite are the texts from men I haven't talked to in 2 years who just want to spark a text conversation.

I had dinner with a friend yesterday and her phone rang from a guy she's been, for lack of a better word, "text dating," and she didn't know what do. She let her phone go to voicemail to buy herself time to try to decipher what a call from him might mean. Does he want something? At this point his very voice is unfamiliar.

Again, I'm all for texting but texting can be abused.

Here are some texting DON'TS:

• DON'T CONTACT A PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME VIA TEXT. CALLING SHOWS INTEREST, TEXTING INDICATES YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW THE PERSON.
• DON'T SAY I LOVE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME VIA TEXT. MATTERS OF THE HEART SHOULD BE ADDRESSED IN PERSON OR LAST RESORT WOULD BE TO VERBALLY EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS OVER TELEPHONE.
• DON'T TEXT A QUESTION IN ANGER, THAT COULD GO ON FOR 12 HRS INSTEAD OF A 12 MINUTE CONVERSATION. BESIDES, IT FEELS BETTER TO BITCH ALOUD.
• DON'T EXPECT A RESPONSE IF YOU DIDN'T ASK A QUESTION. THE PERSON IS NOT OBLIGATED TO RESPOND TO COMMENTS SO DON'T KEEP CHECKING YOUR PHONE WAITING ON A REPLY.
  Now that you are well versed on some texting etiquette please say this aloud:
  
  ON MY HONOR, I WILL TEXT RESPONSIBLY. I WILL "MAN-UP (OR WOMAN UP)" AND CALL AND NOT HIDE BEHIND MY TEXT MESSAGES. ON MY HONOR, TEXTING WILL NOT SUBSTITUTE VERBAL COMMUNICATION.

ALONE WITH GOD

ALONE IS TO BE STILL
LONELY IS TO BE RESTLESS

To be lonely, a gut wrenching hollowness, comes from a place of spiritual emptiness. So you call up a "space filler," only to feel empty again the moment they leave your presence. Lonely only enhances your problems because its only purpose is to seek temporary resolutions. To be alone with God offers eternal gratification.

Lonely is not reserved for the single; married men and women are just as susceptible because what I speak of here is spiritual, not physical loneliness. When the restless settles in, you may blame your mate for the impeding doom of your psyche that was masked by the love and comfort of your mate. Your soul will recognize the masquerade and the truth will play itself out.

It’s okay to feel lonely if you recognize it as a time you should be more involved in nurturing your soul. Lonely can surely be transformed into alone because alone is your place with God and, after all, God will never leave you. You will always be one with the creator. The creator can not exist without that which it created. You and God are one and the same but when you feel lonely you have emotionally lost acceptance of your divine connection.

Often we look for people to complete us because we are afraid of that intimate relationship with the God-self. We end up with someone with the same flaws because it's the only way to acknowledge your own character blemishes, so instead you project them onto someone else, denying their reflection of you. So the ego boasts without personal acceptance and never reconciles the inner conflict.

I have to laugh now, but many years ago I asked a man, "Do I complete you?" I feared losing him so I asked the question, hoping he would fear never being complete without me. I was emotionally and spiritually lonely; protruding my emptiness into his space, of course at the time not realize what I was doing. The lonely seek other lonely people for comfort because they feel ignored by the people simply seeking personal alone time. Intervals of alone time will give you balance, energy and clarity.

Now is the time to be alone with God. Don't fear the stillness within because that is your Being surrendering to the light of God. Submerge in the light and you will find spiritual clarity and emotional stability. You can be alone and happy; alone and fulfilled; alone and single; alone and married.

I suggest making time to be alone because it will actually enhance the relationships with those you love. What good are you to them if you are not any good to yourself? Light can not penetrate through loneliness, although it's inside of you waiting to be exposed as you surrender to alone-time with God.

Are you able to find "alone-time" with God? If so, describe to me one of your "alone-time" experiences.

Shelli Tinae

VIVA COSTA RICA

"Are people really this nice?" That’s the question I kept asking myself during my stay in Costa Rica. By the end of my seven day trip I discovered the answer is a resounding, “yes!” I expected the staff at the resort to go above and beyond courteous – but the people in the neighboring towns of Montezuma, Playa Carmen, Santa Teresa and Mal Pais, were just as organic.

There is a collective consciousness in Costa Rica and it’s centered on love and compassion. It was not just the native Costa Rican’s but all the world implants that showed me a peaceful world is possible. In the U.S. the idea of peace sounds more like a Disney inspired fairytale then a foreseeable reality. Countries that are not founded on the ravishes of racism have a different idea of how to live. There isn't a group of the shamed, intermingling with a group of the resentful.

In Costa Rica they often say “PURA VIDA,” which means “PURE LIFE." I think a lot of us get trapped in the day-to-day demands and the idea of a pure day is far fetched, let alone the idea of a whole life that is pure. What’s considered a pure life is relative and unique to each of us but we can not follow a plan to experience pure life, we have to create it.

I highly suggest traveling abroad to see what the world has to offer. America is only the land of the free in theory, clouded by a matrix of obstacles to keep us confined and stagnant.

SHELLI TINAE – YOUR COSTA RICAN TOUR GUIDE
As your official tour guide, I would like to highlight some of my favorite parts of my Central American adventure:

TORTUGA ISLAND
We took a 30 minute ride on a speed boat across the Nicoya Peninsula to Tortuga Island. It is owned by the Costa Rican government but leased to a family for 99 years. The family is the only inhabitants of the scenic island and their livelihood is based on tourism, as several boats enter their bay everyday loaded with attentive tourists.


MAL PAIS CANOPY TOUR AND SUNSET
If you are looking to have the time of your life, you have to canopy through the rainforest. At Mal Pais there were 11 platforms. The thrill of ziplining 11 times through the lush rainforest was amazing. There are just you, the cord you dangle from, the beauty of the rainforest and the Howler Monkey’s that occupy the region.


After the canopy at Mal Pais we went to the ocean shore and watched a captivating sunset. It’s amazing how the Sun, with the ocean as its background, put me in a mood to pray and give thanks to the Sun for being so faithful each and every day. Think about it; have any of us ever been this faithful? Well, we can sure try.

MONTEZUMA

We took a taxi to Montezuma, a small town about 20 miles from our resort at Tambor Beach. It's a Bohemian influenced area with great food, people and a beautiful beach. A lot of American's have claimed this small piece of heaven but it still has its Costa Rican authenticity.



NEW AND OLD AMIGOS
I went with my girls and loyal travel buddies, Sahsha and Marcia. We always have a good time on our excursions and Costa Rica was no different.




We also linked up with some cool people from Toronto, Canada and Tampa, Florida. We met many people that I will undoubtedly keep in touch with but these guys are definitely worth mentioning. We met Adrian, Gemma, Brian “Bubba”, Steve and Paula on the second day off our voyage and I think we spent the rest of our trip with them!


I am so very thankful for the Costa Rican energy. I somehow feel renewed which has prompted me to take their idea of "pura vida" with me so it will infulence my life.

Share your mind with me! I'm also here to answer questions for any of you interested in taking a trip there.

Blessings!