JUDGMENT DAY

“If you judge people you have no time to love them.” – Mother Teresa


Judgment day doesn’t come until after you die and your life’s work is accessed by the Most High but I think even that is more of an evaluation than a judgment.

Chris Brown has been on America’s most hated list since his scuffle with Rihanna last year but at this years BET Awards there seemed to be a shift of his image in the public eye; from woman beater to poor young soul. Chris had a melt down and cried uncontrollably during his tribute performance to the late Michael Jackson. Ironically Chris Brown was attempting to sing "Man in the Mirror." the song says "I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways.” That simple statement is gospel and I can see why it moved Chris. A tormented soul will discover that no one can save you, not even the second coming of Yeshua. Self realization is the end all be all. Once we acknowledge that person in the mirror we will discover that we are all the same and the need to judge will vanish.

Why does it take a public display of sadness for us to embrace a man and forgive him? Did Chris owe us his tears? I think one of the biggest lessons we all have to learn in this school of life is to not judge others based on our own ideals and standard traditions. Do you know the root of your judgments? If you could trace the origins I’m sure it was from one man/woman’s perspective which means it is not suitable for every Being on this planet.

I still find myself judging people and I'm starting to catch myself and try to understand the motivation behind it. Let’s face it, it’s a habit to judge because we think we know what’s right but each journey has a different path to enlightenment. One thing is for sure, it's easier to judge someone rather than fix our own imperfections. We have to start seeing ourselves in others. When you find commonalities - even with the people you appraise, the need to judge them will vanish because you will see a soul that is just like you…on an isolated path to rediscover perfection.

Don't think so hard - just do it!

We spend too much time incessantly thinking. A thought comes with 1,000 different outcomes but if we instinctively react, we reduce the "what about this" and the "what about that's". The urge to react is immediate but delayed reasonings can push you away from what you are truly supposed to be doing so...JUST DO IT! Yes, I just screamed at you in an attempt to get your inner flame burning. Don't second guess yourself or let lazy thoughts control your life. Putting things off for another day delays the gratification you will receive once you have completed the task.

I used to dread getting up early in the mornings for work and I would lay there and waddle in my own pity. I could literally lay there and in five minutes think of 100 reasons why I shouldn't get up. It made the start of my God-given-day miserable. Now I just get up, give thanks for another day and go to work. Less thought...more action. If one day I wake up and decide never to go to work again, even that would be action motivated and fed by instinctive thought.

Whether it's cleaning the house, paying bills, mowing the lawn or meditating, activate your thoughts! This will bring you growth and expansion as you give your mind the ability to reach for higher things once each task is completed. By responding to your immediate thoughts you activate your PURPOSE. Your purpose cannot be ignited if you don't breath life into your thoughts. If too much thought on one thing is slowing you down, make a decision and put it into action!

The Resurrection

Spring is here and it’s time for a resurrection. There are parts of us that lay dormant waiting for us to light the flame and rekindle the relationship with self. I’ve talked to a lot of people and everyone seems to be feeling heavy and what better way to feel lighter than to reinvent yourself…be born again. If you feel something is missing in your life – there probably is. Think about what’s missing in your life and execute discipline and faith to revive that sleeping giant. Whatever is missing is simply waiting to be revived; none of this is new, we’ve been here before. The challenge is to remember the key points (good and bad) from our past without being stuck there and use it as vehicle to move forward.

Easter is in a few days and the bible says Jesus (Yeshua) rose from the dead to save us from our sins. Resurrection can happen at any time in our lives but we have to be ready and willing to make a change. Even a subtle change can be vital. Stepping out of your daily routine can be inventive and a step away from the cross that binds you. Breaking cycles help you see beyond your current realm of thinking. Expansion…isn’t that what we are here to do? Expand our existence and overall understanding of life?

Resurrection takes courage, strength and discipline. All characteristics you are born with – even if untapped, they are there for you to explore. Make this celebration of Easter more than about Jesus. It’s been about you all along anyway. In the spirit of spring, find a way to renew yourself. So...what are you waiting for?

TO WEAR OR NOT TO WEAR A SCARF TO BED

For black women hair is ALWAYS an issue. Whether it’s fried, dyed or laid to the side, hair is a focal point. We decide on all activities based on whether or not our hair will get messed up. I want to work out but my hair…I want to go swimming but my hair…I want to be sexy in bed but my hair…These challenges are the reason why I chose a natural hairstyle so it didn’t interfere with my active lifestyle. Most black women haven’t chosen the natural route so the men who love them need to be more understanding. Look at it this way, if you want her to sleep without a scarf more often – then offer to pay for some of those expensive hair bills. A compromise has to be found because I guarantee you she will not abandon the scarf completely.

Since I was a toddler a scarf was apart of my nightly wardrobe. From blue bandanas to momma’s old nylon stockings, to silk scarves and bonnets – the head wrap was a staple in my house. When I was younger it was easier on my mom so she didn’t have to do anything on a busy school morning but re-twist my ponytails that were flattened like pancakes during my nights sleep. As I got older and did my own hair, I continued wrapping my hair at night because without them my hair would be all over the place.

The scarf became a ritualistic necessity.

Before I locked my hair, I can remember not wanting a man to see me in my scarf at night so I would sacrifice more hours in the mirror the next morning just to save myself from embarrassment but after a few rendezvous’ that scarf was put to use. Is the scarf sexy? Maybe not but neither is a dew rag or snoring in bed. Women – black women in particular, make sacrifices at night to maintain our sexy during the day. I know some men feel like women should be damn near perfect for them all the time but that’s neither fair nor realistic. If it bothers you that a woman needs to wear a head wrap every night and you are starting to find her unattractive, then you may be best dating a woman with natural hair. She is more carefree about her hairdo and seldom wears a scarf to bed. The other option is to remember that wearing a scarf is not a character trait so remember the reasons why you chose her in the first place.

Ladies, do you wear a scarf to bed? Guys, does it bother you to see a woman sleep in a scarf?

Straight Men in Atlanta "Saving" Women from the Gayest City in the Country

By now most of you have heard about the article in Advocate Magazine that voted Atlanta as the gayest city in the country. Okay, I will admit I’m surprised it’s worse than San Francisco but it explains why the heterosexual men here feel they have something to prove. I believe living in a city as gay as Atlanta, the straight men here feel (an unconscious feeling) they have to over compensate to prove their straight. The way they go about doing this, is a good majority of them flaunt their heterosexuality to and with every woman in town! I think they believe they are the single woman’s SAVIOR. Like, “it’s either you date me non-exclusively or you’re left with the gay men at Bull Dogs.” Men are very protective of their rolls as the leaders and providers and living in Atlanta has caused that natural instinct to become elevated and thus out of whack.

There are A LOT of eligible bachelors in Atlanta. Successful, own homes, nice cars, 401k’s with stock options, etc…living the American dream but the American dream doesn’t seem to come equipped with the idea of settling down. Now, I do believe people should be single until they are ready to make a commitment but the men here have no desire to settle down because they are too busy “saving” all the women from the gays. I remember I met a guy from DC who was here visiting and he was quick to say, “Man, if I lived in Atlanta I would be not have a girlfriend.” It’s like Atlanta is the land of the lost single men who are in no hurry to grow up; in no hurry to find just ONE woman to spend their time with. I can’t say that I’m blaming these men because a big part of me feels they are a product of their environment. If I were to transport these same eligible bachelor’s to Minnesota, they’d probably all be married or at least engaged.

The battle of the testosterone is at its peak here in Atlanta because the straight men here don’t EVER want anyone to think they are a member of the high Gays population. These men aren’t making excuses for being straight – but they are acting them out in their dating life to prove a point and the point is being well received by single black women here; IF I WANT A SINGLE, STRAIGHT MAN IN ATLANTA, I HAVE TO SHARE HIM.

NATURAL BORN LOVERS

Kissing is an art; understanding a woman's body is an art. Love making....well, love making is an artistic fantasy.

Michael Jordan wasn't born with a basketball in his hand, but once he learned to play his natural talents just shined. He found his rhythm and the pure essence of his game was undeniable. I look at love making in the same way; we weren't born having sex but some people are....NATURAL BORN LOVERS.

Have you ever been with someone and they did everything right? They are a NBL - and you're probably not the only person who's discovered their splendid talents. They are passion extremist, engulfed in their sexual fantasies. These lovers have an uncanny way of pleasing their mate at all cost and understand the rhythms of their bodies - as well as their mates. Some things can not be taught - they have to be felt on an unconscious level and as much as we are spiritual beings - we can not deny these physical bodies that our soul in habitats. Natural Born Lovers understand this concept more than anyone else. If you are not a NBL then just hope that you have the opportunity to get lessons from one of these sexual beasts. Everyone can't be Michael Jordan but you can still suit up for the game and get some playing time.

WARNING: A Natural Born Lover may not love anything more than the act itself. After all, it is a fantasy inspired virtual reality. So be careful with your heart if your body has been sacrificed for the experience.

I Found Hair in his Bed!?!?

I found hair in his bed

Picture this: You wake up from a wonderful night of love making and the sun rises and peaks through his bedroom window. He is sleeping soundly and you can see him softly breathing. As you gaze at him longingly, you can’t help but notice something out the corner of your eye. Is it lent? Curiosity leads you to pick up the peculiar substance and you discover it’s hair - a long blonde hair…and your hair is short and black. Oh my, how comfortable the blonde hair looks laying on his 600 count Egyptian thread sheets. Suddenly the room grows dark as night and the sun is still shinning outside but leaving a grim shadow over his room. He is still breathing softly but you forgot to breathe the moment you found…THE HAIR.

If you have ever found another’s woman’s hair in a man’s bed, that means you are not supposed to be there. I don’t care what circumstances led to you finding the hair. The end result is…YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. We can cuss at him and scream bloody Mary but it won’t change the fact that what you found was a sign; a sign to leave.

It’s like the fairy tale, The Princess and the Pea, Winnifred couldn’t sleep because there was a pea under the mattress. She said there was a lump in the bed that was preventing her from sleeping. That lump in the bed is equivalent to the hair plastered on his sheets. You really won’t be able to sleep after that. As thin as one strand of hair is, it will feel like a bowling ball is on the bed...because it's all mental. The hair paints a mental image of someone other than yourself.

God speaks to us via the confirmations we get. I can guarantee you that finding hair is a confirmation to leave and that it was not the first attempt for God to say….RUN! Even if it’s not your boyfriend or husband but just a man you’re sleeping with, that lump in the bed will prevent you from sleeping at night. That hair has a name; that hair has a face.

To my fella’s out there courting several women, keep ya game tight. Wash your sheets frequently, vacuum and wipe off your bathroom counters. Hair sheds, period, so even if you’re not in a committed relationship give the women you date respect enough not to leave a "pea" in the bed.