You build your relationship from the ground up and outside-in, not top to bottom and inside-out. The foundation will determine it's level of stability through any kind of weather. The key components to a lasting relationship are LOVE, RESPECT, HONESTY, TRUST, DISCIPLINE. If any of these are out of whack then your foundation may be off balance but can be repaired with attention and care.
LOVE is an eternal flame that we are born to emit til the day we transition from this Earth (an beyond). When you find someone who resonates on the same love frequency - then that is special and can NEVER be reversed. I believe we are born in the image of God...as LOVE. So the first part of the foundation is LOVE, which may be the easiest of the 5 foundation components because instinct is its guide. I LOVE YOU BECAUSE...I JUST DO.
Something that may not come as easily as RESPECT. I see people all the time disrespecting the one they love by calling them out of their name or justifying extra marital affairs. RESPECT is about honoring the one you love. It is an honor and a blessing to be in the presence of your equal. Your goal should be to never disrespect your mate...never. I find it funny when men tell me they cheat on their wives and tell me they love her in the same conversation. The thin line between love and hate occurs when your mate feels utterly disrespected. That is the turning point.
Another key component is HONESTY. This one I still have a hard time with because it's complex to determine what needs to be revealed. My advice is to confide in your mate freely. After all, the screws holding the foundation together are based on your friendship. Also, it will be better coming from you, rather than someone else. I equate honesty with liberation. Such a load can be removed from the pit of your gut by sharing some of the skeletons in your closet. This is who I was - and this is who I am today. You should not be castrated for showing growth.
TRUST may be a challenge if you grew up not trusting people. My advice is to first TRUST yourself to choose a mate who's TRUSTWORTHY. I think a lot of times we take for granted that our mates are a reflection of us. We don't trust ourselves and our decisions but we want someone to trust us. It just doesn't make any sense. TRUST and believe in your mate as you do yourself to build a strong foundation.
The last foundation component is DISCIPLINE. It'S easy to go putting your screws in someone else's tool box. Let's face it, we are ANIMALS! Some of you have K-9 teeth to prove it. We have to discipline ourselves to stay with one person. I think that's why I always here, "marriage is hard work," because it must be nurtured on a constant basis.
Maintain a balance of each of these relationship components to increase the happiness in your relationship because without a solid foundation - the relationship will crumble.
