Kissing is an art; understanding a woman's body is an art. Love making....well, love making is an artistic fantasy.
Michael Jordan wasn't born with a basketball in his hand, but once he learned to play his natural talents just shined. He found his rhythm and the pure essence of his game was undeniable. I look at love making in the same way; we weren't born having sex but some people are....NATURAL BORN LOVERS.
Have you ever been with someone and they did everything right? They are a NBL - and you're probably not the only person who's discovered their splendid talents. They are passion extremist, engulfed in their sexual fantasies. These lovers have an uncanny way of pleasing their mate at all cost and understand the rhythms of their bodies - as well as their mates. Some things can not be taught - they have to be felt on an unconscious level and as much as we are spiritual beings - we can not deny these physical bodies that our soul in habitats. Natural Born Lovers understand this concept more than anyone else. If you are not a NBL then just hope that you have the opportunity to get lessons from one of these sexual beasts. Everyone can't be Michael Jordan but you can still suit up for the game and get some playing time.
WARNING: A Natural Born Lover may not love anything more than the act itself. After all, it is a fantasy inspired virtual reality. So be careful with your heart if your body has been sacrificed for the experience.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I Found Hair in his Bed!?!?
I found hair in his bed
Picture this: You wake up from a wonderful night of love making and the sun rises and peaks through his bedroom window. He is sleeping soundly and you can see him softly breathing. As you gaze at him longingly, you can’t help but notice something out the corner of your eye. Is it lent? Curiosity leads you to pick up the peculiar substance and you discover it’s hair - a long blonde hair…and your hair is short and black. Oh my, how comfortable the blonde hair looks laying on his 600 count Egyptian thread sheets. Suddenly the room grows dark as night and the sun is still shinning outside but leaving a grim shadow over his room. He is still breathing softly but you forgot to breathe the moment you found…THE HAIR.
If you have ever found another’s woman’s hair in a man’s bed, that means you are not supposed to be there. I don’t care what circumstances led to you finding the hair. The end result is…YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. We can cuss at him and scream bloody Mary but it won’t change the fact that what you found was a sign; a sign to leave.
It’s like the fairy tale, The Princess and the Pea, Winnifred couldn’t sleep because there was a pea under the mattress. She said there was a lump in the bed that was preventing her from sleeping. That lump in the bed is equivalent to the hair plastered on his sheets. You really won’t be able to sleep after that. As thin as one strand of hair is, it will feel like a bowling ball is on the bed...because it's all mental. The hair paints a mental image of someone other than yourself.
God speaks to us via the confirmations we get. I can guarantee you that finding hair is a confirmation to leave and that it was not the first attempt for God to say….RUN! Even if it’s not your boyfriend or husband but just a man you’re sleeping with, that lump in the bed will prevent you from sleeping at night. That hair has a name; that hair has a face.
To my fella’s out there courting several women, keep ya game tight. Wash your sheets frequently, vacuum and wipe off your bathroom counters. Hair sheds, period, so even if you’re not in a committed relationship give the women you date respect enough not to leave a "pea" in the bed.
Picture this: You wake up from a wonderful night of love making and the sun rises and peaks through his bedroom window. He is sleeping soundly and you can see him softly breathing. As you gaze at him longingly, you can’t help but notice something out the corner of your eye. Is it lent? Curiosity leads you to pick up the peculiar substance and you discover it’s hair - a long blonde hair…and your hair is short and black. Oh my, how comfortable the blonde hair looks laying on his 600 count Egyptian thread sheets. Suddenly the room grows dark as night and the sun is still shinning outside but leaving a grim shadow over his room. He is still breathing softly but you forgot to breathe the moment you found…THE HAIR.
If you have ever found another’s woman’s hair in a man’s bed, that means you are not supposed to be there. I don’t care what circumstances led to you finding the hair. The end result is…YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. We can cuss at him and scream bloody Mary but it won’t change the fact that what you found was a sign; a sign to leave.
It’s like the fairy tale, The Princess and the Pea, Winnifred couldn’t sleep because there was a pea under the mattress. She said there was a lump in the bed that was preventing her from sleeping. That lump in the bed is equivalent to the hair plastered on his sheets. You really won’t be able to sleep after that. As thin as one strand of hair is, it will feel like a bowling ball is on the bed...because it's all mental. The hair paints a mental image of someone other than yourself.
God speaks to us via the confirmations we get. I can guarantee you that finding hair is a confirmation to leave and that it was not the first attempt for God to say….RUN! Even if it’s not your boyfriend or husband but just a man you’re sleeping with, that lump in the bed will prevent you from sleeping at night. That hair has a name; that hair has a face.
To my fella’s out there courting several women, keep ya game tight. Wash your sheets frequently, vacuum and wipe off your bathroom counters. Hair sheds, period, so even if you’re not in a committed relationship give the women you date respect enough not to leave a "pea" in the bed.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
If you want your relationship to be everlasting, then you need to recognize that love and respect go hand-n-hand. We can easily be in love with someone and have an affair at the same time but what stops us from making that pesky move? RESPECT. Respect for ourselves and hopefully we realize that we don't want to disrespect our mate at any cost. I feel if you can't control the urge to cheat - then just break up with your mate. Temptation is in all of us but humans have the ability to make choices. Now I'm not saying breaking up with someone you love is easy because there is no way to avoid the hurt and pain - but you could at least say that you were mature enough to recognize that the change taking place inside of you required a change in the current status of your relationship.
If we cheat on mates then we are disrespecting them for the sake of our own self indulges. When you love someone beyond your own selfish pleasures, then you can truly say you love them. When you keep it one hundred first and foremost and you don't lie to them - then you can say LOVE respectfully...and not egocentrically. The ego can keep us seeking self gratification and over look the need to be with one with all there is.
Love me respectfully, not egocentrically.
If we cheat on mates then we are disrespecting them for the sake of our own self indulges. When you love someone beyond your own selfish pleasures, then you can truly say you love them. When you keep it one hundred first and foremost and you don't lie to them - then you can say LOVE respectfully...and not egocentrically. The ego can keep us seeking self gratification and over look the need to be with one with all there is.
Love me respectfully, not egocentrically.
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Authentic Side of Me
I have been that girl who tried too hard to get a man, thinking this is what will please him - but I lost myself in the meantime because I was afraid to show him who I really was. Now I realize, if he doesn't know who I am, then he'll never be mine anyway. There would always be some obstacle inhibiting our growth because of the false portrayals of the real ME. Trying to keep up an ideal image was a disservice to myself...it was a disservice to the man I was desperately trying to impress. I was trying to be so perfect, that it made me imperfect. My experiences have taught me to cut to the chase and expose my true self without fear of rejection. I look at the men I date as a potential friend - not a potential husband. It takes the pressure off the entire situation.
Often we try too hard - especially if the person meets our "fantasy island" criteria. Then we get mentally obsessed with meeting all of his requirements. "I am good enough, see!" Being your authentic self on a date doesn't mean exposing your entire background on a first date, but it does mean feeling comfortable enough not to embellish the truth.The real person will come out eventually so you may as well be seen for who you are in the beginning of the friendship/relationship. You don't need a representative to stand in the place of the real you because once you show your true light, you risk the chance of being judged as fake. A lot of people have their guard up but those are the people who will miss out on meaningful relationships.
I don't think people always intend to cover up the truth, some of them are just surface level people. Trying to break down those walls and get them to open up is a b**ch but I think that's also associated with fear. They will never let you in because they still haven't come to accept who they are. We definitely need someone who accepts their past and is not afraid to communicate it. When you see your growth - the past is not shameful.
So once again things start right where they began...with yourself. When you lovingly accept your authentic self you can share that essence with everyone you meet.
Often we try too hard - especially if the person meets our "fantasy island" criteria. Then we get mentally obsessed with meeting all of his requirements. "I am good enough, see!" Being your authentic self on a date doesn't mean exposing your entire background on a first date, but it does mean feeling comfortable enough not to embellish the truth.The real person will come out eventually so you may as well be seen for who you are in the beginning of the friendship/relationship. You don't need a representative to stand in the place of the real you because once you show your true light, you risk the chance of being judged as fake. A lot of people have their guard up but those are the people who will miss out on meaningful relationships.
I don't think people always intend to cover up the truth, some of them are just surface level people. Trying to break down those walls and get them to open up is a b**ch but I think that's also associated with fear. They will never let you in because they still haven't come to accept who they are. We definitely need someone who accepts their past and is not afraid to communicate it. When you see your growth - the past is not shameful.
So once again things start right where they began...with yourself. When you lovingly accept your authentic self you can share that essence with everyone you meet.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Cuddle Weather is Here!
The best part about this chill in the air…IT’S CUDDLE TIME.
I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that the weather dictates your mood and cold weather tends to make us desire a warm body constantly around us. It’s not just about warmth but cuddling is a great way to show affection. Turn down the heater and turn up the skin-to-skin contact. Any person you want to share your space with says a lot.
One of my favorite things to do while cuddling is listening to a man’s heartbeat. It’s so alive…so intricate. The simple beating of a heart can put life in a precious perspective. Try cuddling in silence and really get in tune with one another. The cold weather is just a great excuse to make that happen. The summer is about freedom and the winter is about seclusion. There is nothing more people want to do than snuggle up with their boo during those cold nights because as soon as summer comes it’s time to be out and to be seen.
It dawned on me recently that every break up I’ve had has been in April. Soon as a hint of warmth catches me…I’m gone! It’s something about the seasons that seem to dictate my “relationship mood”…it’s a natural unexplained phenomenon. Spring is about change and rebirth and the sun provides the source of energy to make that happen. Now that it’s fall and getting cold outside, use this time to retreat and snuggle up with that special someone. It’s the little things that make a person know they are loved and appreciated. Holding a person close to you for an extended period of time is a good way to get back to the basics and cuddling is a basic necessity that should not be overlooked. It is a subtle, silent – yet intense connection that your soul will appreciate once your bodies gently collide.
I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that the weather dictates your mood and cold weather tends to make us desire a warm body constantly around us. It’s not just about warmth but cuddling is a great way to show affection. Turn down the heater and turn up the skin-to-skin contact. Any person you want to share your space with says a lot.
One of my favorite things to do while cuddling is listening to a man’s heartbeat. It’s so alive…so intricate. The simple beating of a heart can put life in a precious perspective. Try cuddling in silence and really get in tune with one another. The cold weather is just a great excuse to make that happen. The summer is about freedom and the winter is about seclusion. There is nothing more people want to do than snuggle up with their boo during those cold nights because as soon as summer comes it’s time to be out and to be seen.
It dawned on me recently that every break up I’ve had has been in April. Soon as a hint of warmth catches me…I’m gone! It’s something about the seasons that seem to dictate my “relationship mood”…it’s a natural unexplained phenomenon. Spring is about change and rebirth and the sun provides the source of energy to make that happen. Now that it’s fall and getting cold outside, use this time to retreat and snuggle up with that special someone. It’s the little things that make a person know they are loved and appreciated. Holding a person close to you for an extended period of time is a good way to get back to the basics and cuddling is a basic necessity that should not be overlooked. It is a subtle, silent – yet intense connection that your soul will appreciate once your bodies gently collide.
Monday, September 21, 2009
THE RELATIONSHIP FOUNDATION
You build your relationship from the ground up and outside-in, not top to bottom and inside-out. The foundation will determine it's level of stability through any kind of weather. The key components to a lasting relationship are LOVE, RESPECT, HONESTY, TRUST, DISCIPLINE. If any of these are out of whack then your foundation may be off balance but can be repaired with attention and care.
LOVE is an eternal flame that we are born to emit til the day we transition from this Earth (an beyond). When you find someone who resonates on the same love frequency - then that is special and can NEVER be reversed. I believe we are born in the image of God...as LOVE. So the first part of the foundation is LOVE, which may be the easiest of the 5 foundation components because instinct is its guide. I LOVE YOU BECAUSE...I JUST DO.
Something that may not come as easily as RESPECT. I see people all the time disrespecting the one they love by calling them out of their name or justifying extra marital affairs. RESPECT is about honoring the one you love. It is an honor and a blessing to be in the presence of your equal. Your goal should be to never disrespect your mate...never. I find it funny when men tell me they cheat on their wives and tell me they love her in the same conversation. The thin line between love and hate occurs when your mate feels utterly disrespected. That is the turning point.
Another key component is HONESTY. This one I still have a hard time with because it's complex to determine what needs to be revealed. My advice is to confide in your mate freely. After all, the screws holding the foundation together are based on your friendship. Also, it will be better coming from you, rather than someone else. I equate honesty with liberation. Such a load can be removed from the pit of your gut by sharing some of the skeletons in your closet. This is who I was - and this is who I am today. You should not be castrated for showing growth.
TRUST may be a challenge if you grew up not trusting people. My advice is to first TRUST yourself to choose a mate who's TRUSTWORTHY. I think a lot of times we take for granted that our mates are a reflection of us. We don't trust ourselves and our decisions but we want someone to trust us. It just doesn't make any sense. TRUST and believe in your mate as you do yourself to build a strong foundation.
The last foundation component is DISCIPLINE. It'S easy to go putting your screws in someone else's tool box. Let's face it, we are ANIMALS! Some of you have K-9 teeth to prove it. We have to discipline ourselves to stay with one person. I think that's why I always here, "marriage is hard work," because it must be nurtured on a constant basis.
Maintain a balance of each of these relationship components to increase the happiness in your relationship because without a solid foundation - the relationship will crumble.
LOVE is an eternal flame that we are born to emit til the day we transition from this Earth (an beyond). When you find someone who resonates on the same love frequency - then that is special and can NEVER be reversed. I believe we are born in the image of God...as LOVE. So the first part of the foundation is LOVE, which may be the easiest of the 5 foundation components because instinct is its guide. I LOVE YOU BECAUSE...I JUST DO.
Something that may not come as easily as RESPECT. I see people all the time disrespecting the one they love by calling them out of their name or justifying extra marital affairs. RESPECT is about honoring the one you love. It is an honor and a blessing to be in the presence of your equal. Your goal should be to never disrespect your mate...never. I find it funny when men tell me they cheat on their wives and tell me they love her in the same conversation. The thin line between love and hate occurs when your mate feels utterly disrespected. That is the turning point.
Another key component is HONESTY. This one I still have a hard time with because it's complex to determine what needs to be revealed. My advice is to confide in your mate freely. After all, the screws holding the foundation together are based on your friendship. Also, it will be better coming from you, rather than someone else. I equate honesty with liberation. Such a load can be removed from the pit of your gut by sharing some of the skeletons in your closet. This is who I was - and this is who I am today. You should not be castrated for showing growth.
TRUST may be a challenge if you grew up not trusting people. My advice is to first TRUST yourself to choose a mate who's TRUSTWORTHY. I think a lot of times we take for granted that our mates are a reflection of us. We don't trust ourselves and our decisions but we want someone to trust us. It just doesn't make any sense. TRUST and believe in your mate as you do yourself to build a strong foundation.
The last foundation component is DISCIPLINE. It'S easy to go putting your screws in someone else's tool box. Let's face it, we are ANIMALS! Some of you have K-9 teeth to prove it. We have to discipline ourselves to stay with one person. I think that's why I always here, "marriage is hard work," because it must be nurtured on a constant basis.
Maintain a balance of each of these relationship components to increase the happiness in your relationship because without a solid foundation - the relationship will crumble.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
LOVE IS A DECISION
I had the pleasure of being a bride’s maid over the weekend for my dear friend Marisa. Congratulations to her and her new hubby!
The minister performing the ceremony said something that really hit a nerve. To paraphrase he said, love is more than a feeling, love is a decision. You have to decide to love someone; you have to decide to make it work; you have to decide to get through the hard times…together. The feeling will get you nowhere without the mutual understanding and decision to make it work. Often we forget to nurture the decisions we’ve made – and in doing so we relinquish control over the things we truly desire. I believe love is a birth right – we are all love beings, but only we can decide to reach the depths of loves treasures. So yes, love is a decision and a discipline we should honor and cherish every moment.
The minister performing the ceremony said something that really hit a nerve. To paraphrase he said, love is more than a feeling, love is a decision. You have to decide to love someone; you have to decide to make it work; you have to decide to get through the hard times…together. The feeling will get you nowhere without the mutual understanding and decision to make it work. Often we forget to nurture the decisions we’ve made – and in doing so we relinquish control over the things we truly desire. I believe love is a birth right – we are all love beings, but only we can decide to reach the depths of loves treasures. So yes, love is a decision and a discipline we should honor and cherish every moment.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
SELF PLEASURE
This week on 'Straight Talk with Ella Bleu,' we got down to the nitty-gritty on self pleasure.
Most people sneak up on self pleasure at an early age when they are discovering their bodies. Prior to that the body just appeared to be this intricate piece of art that we didn't understand; like we know a car needs gas but have no idea how to build an engine. So the question is: how did self pleasure become so taboo?
If you grew up in a religious home you know that lustful thoughts were shunned upon. Self pleasure was attached to feelings of guilt and remorse (it's amazing to me how religion has the ability to stifle your growth by instilling fear but I'm not going there today). So what we discovered is that the people who masturbate tend to know their bodies and enjoy sex more because they already know the way to their erogenous zones. If you get nothing more from this, please do not rely on your partner to teach you about your own body. I learned my body so know EVERYTHING. Even if I have a headache I can feel the knot in my neck or shoulders and kneed it out. Our bodies are always talking to us.
Your body is a sacred place where spirit resides. Imagine how great your sexual experience would be if you both knew your own bodies. Hopefully some of you can already giving a convincing amen to that! I'm not saying go home and ritualistically please yourself everyday but it should be a periodic exercise to explore the inner & outter workings of your body...a work of art.
To listen to a podcast of "The Masturbation, Fascination," go http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ellableu/2009/07/08/Straight-Talk-with-Ella-Bleu
Most people sneak up on self pleasure at an early age when they are discovering their bodies. Prior to that the body just appeared to be this intricate piece of art that we didn't understand; like we know a car needs gas but have no idea how to build an engine. So the question is: how did self pleasure become so taboo?
If you grew up in a religious home you know that lustful thoughts were shunned upon. Self pleasure was attached to feelings of guilt and remorse (it's amazing to me how religion has the ability to stifle your growth by instilling fear but I'm not going there today). So what we discovered is that the people who masturbate tend to know their bodies and enjoy sex more because they already know the way to their erogenous zones. If you get nothing more from this, please do not rely on your partner to teach you about your own body. I learned my body so know EVERYTHING. Even if I have a headache I can feel the knot in my neck or shoulders and kneed it out. Our bodies are always talking to us.
Your body is a sacred place where spirit resides. Imagine how great your sexual experience would be if you both knew your own bodies. Hopefully some of you can already giving a convincing amen to that! I'm not saying go home and ritualistically please yourself everyday but it should be a periodic exercise to explore the inner & outter workings of your body...a work of art.
To listen to a podcast of "The Masturbation, Fascination," go http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ellableu/2009/07/08/Straight-Talk-with-Ella-Bleu
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Ex Factor!
First of all, let me say your ex’s are in the past for a reason and it’s probably best they stay there. I think we should always be moving onward and forward and the goal is to have received a life lesson from your relationship so you don’t feel the need to go back. To go back is like saying, “God, I missed what you were trying to tell me, please show me again”. If you choose to go back, be a conscious observer the next time around.
Our topic Tuesday on “Straight Talk with Ella Bleu,” was about being friends with your ex’s. It seems that even if people aren’t romantically involved, they are still maintaining some type of contact. Generally speaking, people still care about the well being of their ex’s and to some degree find it comforting to associate with the familiar; someone who knows and accepts you for who they are even if they can’t stand the thought of living with your ass! The biggest highlight is now you can take that person in doses and not on a regular basis.
What surprised me the most is that some of these ex’s are SECRETS from your current mates. I keep hearing the hook from an old Xscape song when they said, “You’re my little secret and that’s how we should keep it…” Apparently some things are better off left unsaid but is that silence a form of deception?
My advice is to let the cat out of the bag early on in the relationship because at that point you have nothing to lose. Be open about your ex’s during the “getting to know you stage”. You will gain that person’s respect and you will also show that you have no regrets about your past because after all, your past is what made you the person you are today.
The ex is only a factor if you let it be.
Our topic Tuesday on “Straight Talk with Ella Bleu,” was about being friends with your ex’s. It seems that even if people aren’t romantically involved, they are still maintaining some type of contact. Generally speaking, people still care about the well being of their ex’s and to some degree find it comforting to associate with the familiar; someone who knows and accepts you for who they are even if they can’t stand the thought of living with your ass! The biggest highlight is now you can take that person in doses and not on a regular basis.
What surprised me the most is that some of these ex’s are SECRETS from your current mates. I keep hearing the hook from an old Xscape song when they said, “You’re my little secret and that’s how we should keep it…” Apparently some things are better off left unsaid but is that silence a form of deception?
My advice is to let the cat out of the bag early on in the relationship because at that point you have nothing to lose. Be open about your ex’s during the “getting to know you stage”. You will gain that person’s respect and you will also show that you have no regrets about your past because after all, your past is what made you the person you are today.
The ex is only a factor if you let it be.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
SEX IS A SPIRITUAL EXCURSION
All of our true desires are spiritual and our bodies are just vehicles to accomplish them, therefore even sex is a spiritual excursion. Trust me, your spirit is not looking for sex but rather a connection so deep, so intense, that you and your mate can move a mountain when your energies collide.
Last night on our radio show, “Straight Talk with Ella Bleu,” our guest Erik Gordon said dating is all about SEX and that basically relationships begin and end with the mighty power of sex.
I think he’s partially right but sex for the sake of penetration is a means to cover-up some deep seeded issues. Sex becomes a distraction so you don’t have to deal with what you really want…which is ever lasting love. I think the problem is a lot of us don’t even feel true love exists and have just given up somewhere along the say. Men have it the worst because they are taught the abuse of sex is a macho birthright but our gift from God is LOVE – not sex. You’re spirit didn’t travel light years to be right here, right now just to bust a… well you know what I’m getting at.
Hey, have sex like jackrabbits all you want – I’m not judging but instead I’m saying be mindful of your distractions vs. your spiritual desires but keep in mind awareness means you have greater responsibility. I’ve been there, done that, I’m definitely not a saint but the key is being aware of where you’re at in your life and setting your sights on higher plateau’s for the future.
So tell me, what are your spiritual desires? AND if sex is a spiritual excursion...how are you going to get there?
Check out our show from last night. Here's the link for the podcast: http://tobtr.com/s/554652
Last night on our radio show, “Straight Talk with Ella Bleu,” our guest Erik Gordon said dating is all about SEX and that basically relationships begin and end with the mighty power of sex.
I think he’s partially right but sex for the sake of penetration is a means to cover-up some deep seeded issues. Sex becomes a distraction so you don’t have to deal with what you really want…which is ever lasting love. I think the problem is a lot of us don’t even feel true love exists and have just given up somewhere along the say. Men have it the worst because they are taught the abuse of sex is a macho birthright but our gift from God is LOVE – not sex. You’re spirit didn’t travel light years to be right here, right now just to bust a… well you know what I’m getting at.
Hey, have sex like jackrabbits all you want – I’m not judging but instead I’m saying be mindful of your distractions vs. your spiritual desires but keep in mind awareness means you have greater responsibility. I’ve been there, done that, I’m definitely not a saint but the key is being aware of where you’re at in your life and setting your sights on higher plateau’s for the future.
So tell me, what are your spiritual desires? AND if sex is a spiritual excursion...how are you going to get there?
Check out our show from last night. Here's the link for the podcast: http://tobtr.com/s/554652
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
APHRODISIAC SCENTS
One of the strongest of the 5 senses is the sense of smell. Our nose has the exotic ability to pick up a scent and tap into our memory and our strongest desires. My favorite scent is of a man, of course, but an untapped man; no perfumes to cover up his pheromones. Pheromones are chemicals released by living organisms to send messages to beings of the same species. Have you ever noticed someone's natural scents just seemed uncannily familiar and safe to you?
In an article on suite101.com called, “Love, Sex and the Sense of Smell,” it says studies on the role of aromas in attractiveness and romance have found that:
· women prefer the smell of men whose genetics are similar but not too similar to their own
· men prefer women's body odor during the time of the month when they are fertile
I find it very intriguing that we pick up scents on a genetic level. It means we have the ability to detect someone’s energy just from their natural fragrance. That natural scent is an aphrodisiac, exciting you on such a subtle level that you may never even recognize what turned you on.
A lot of people have the misconception that they need to go out and buy expensive perfumes or colognes but if a person picks up your scent it will be from your natural odor. Have you ever tried on the same perfume as someone but it didn't smell the same on you as it did them? That's because your body chemistry is unique and distinct...waiting for the right person to catch a whiff.
Tip:
Try putting on scents that enhance your natural pheromones and don’t over power them. Some aphrodisiac educing oils are jasmine, neroli, sandalwood, ylang ylang and my favorite…lavender. Try a dab of one of these oils in just the right places and you’ll be sure to get a rise from your mate.
"Love, Sex and the Sense of Smell: Essential Oil Aphrodisiacs: Valentine's Day Romance is in the Air Suite101.com" - http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/love_sex_and_the_sense_of_smell#ixzz0HHRNs5T0&A
In an article on suite101.com called, “Love, Sex and the Sense of Smell,” it says studies on the role of aromas in attractiveness and romance have found that:
· women prefer the smell of men whose genetics are similar but not too similar to their own
· men prefer women's body odor during the time of the month when they are fertile
I find it very intriguing that we pick up scents on a genetic level. It means we have the ability to detect someone’s energy just from their natural fragrance. That natural scent is an aphrodisiac, exciting you on such a subtle level that you may never even recognize what turned you on.
A lot of people have the misconception that they need to go out and buy expensive perfumes or colognes but if a person picks up your scent it will be from your natural odor. Have you ever tried on the same perfume as someone but it didn't smell the same on you as it did them? That's because your body chemistry is unique and distinct...waiting for the right person to catch a whiff.
Tip:
Try putting on scents that enhance your natural pheromones and don’t over power them. Some aphrodisiac educing oils are jasmine, neroli, sandalwood, ylang ylang and my favorite…lavender. Try a dab of one of these oils in just the right places and you’ll be sure to get a rise from your mate.
"Love, Sex and the Sense of Smell: Essential Oil Aphrodisiacs: Valentine's Day Romance is in the Air Suite101.com" - http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/love_sex_and_the_sense_of_smell#ixzz0HHRNs5T0&A
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
THIRSTY WOMEN FINISH LAST
JAMES: went to door 44 a few weeks ago and it was hot and the women were hot looking but poor quality because I was hit up for rent money, brake pads, etc…
SHELLI: WTF, serious? that always happens to u
JAMES: I know..why do u think so
SHELLI: Do you put your financial biz out there?
JAMES: nah....just younger women I guess. They tend to have more issues.
SHELLI: The problem with women is they don't realize a man is supposed to take care of you for life...but you can scare him away if you don't play your position right early on
JAMES: Yep…I don’t mind spending but if u ask too soon it’s a big turnoff
*The above is an actual conversation (his real name has been protected)
First of all ladies let me say: A man doesn’t owe you anything. Period! Never go to a bar with an empty wallet; never ask a man you barely know for money. Men are innately equipped with the “take care of your woman” gene. Aside from getting his paper right, there is nothing a man wants more than to provide for his family. You can’t be that woman over night. Again let me restate the problem: WOMEN DON’T REALIZE IT’S A MAN’S JOB TO TAKE CARE OF US FOR LIFE.
The recommendation: Ladies, stop acting so damn THIRSTY! Fostering a lasting relationship with a man takes time and patience. Short term, yes you might get your rent paid or new break pads, but you won’t get the ring (or whatever your long term relationship goal is). Look for more than just a short term peak of your goodies.
I might get heat from this, but if you aren’t looking for a relationship you can have six men taking care of you at once but you still gotta play your cards right and asking for too much too soon ain’t how you get there.
The THIRSTY finish last.
SHELLI: WTF, serious? that always happens to u
JAMES: I know..why do u think so
SHELLI: Do you put your financial biz out there?
JAMES: nah....just younger women I guess. They tend to have more issues.
SHELLI: The problem with women is they don't realize a man is supposed to take care of you for life...but you can scare him away if you don't play your position right early on
JAMES: Yep…I don’t mind spending but if u ask too soon it’s a big turnoff
*The above is an actual conversation (his real name has been protected)
First of all ladies let me say: A man doesn’t owe you anything. Period! Never go to a bar with an empty wallet; never ask a man you barely know for money. Men are innately equipped with the “take care of your woman” gene. Aside from getting his paper right, there is nothing a man wants more than to provide for his family. You can’t be that woman over night. Again let me restate the problem: WOMEN DON’T REALIZE IT’S A MAN’S JOB TO TAKE CARE OF US FOR LIFE.
The recommendation: Ladies, stop acting so damn THIRSTY! Fostering a lasting relationship with a man takes time and patience. Short term, yes you might get your rent paid or new break pads, but you won’t get the ring (or whatever your long term relationship goal is). Look for more than just a short term peak of your goodies.
I might get heat from this, but if you aren’t looking for a relationship you can have six men taking care of you at once but you still gotta play your cards right and asking for too much too soon ain’t how you get there.
The THIRSTY finish last.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
UGLY WOMEN ARE ATTENTIVE!!??
So I’m hearing from the fella’s that ugly women do more to keep a man. I’m going to call these ugly women “precious” because ugly just seems so harsh. Anyway, they claim that precious women have more to lose so they go above and beyond the call of duty in the bedroom, kitchen and just being attentive to the needs of men on a whole. These precious women basically over compensate because they don’t feel their looks will keep a man. Looks period should not keep a person around, but okay I realize they do…but for how long?
I used to think that it didn’t matter how much a woman over compensates; a man will not stay with a woman that he doesn’t find attractive – inside and out, but for real...I have seen some fine a** men with some precious looking women and it does make you wonder, “wow, how did she get him?”
On the flip said, these brotha’s told me that pretty women are SPOILED and it’s always about “me, me, me”. They said that these women are less attentive and too self centered to cater to the needs of their man. I find that interesting because pretty women are spoiled because men have spoiled them, so fella’s you created that monster and it’s probably too late to tame it. You all get so goo-goo-ga-ga when you see a pretty women. Salivation just runs down your mouth and honestly, men don’t think very logically around pretty women.
They also said that pretty women are NOT good in bed and just want to lay there and look cute. Actually, this one surprised me because I would think a woman’s experience would determine her expertise in the bedroom – not her looks. My advice: ladies don’t be too cute to sweat and if you’re sharing your body with a man then you should be comfortable letting your inner kitten out.
UGLY(precious) vs. PRETTY…IS THERE SOME LEGITIMACY TO THIS?
I used to think that it didn’t matter how much a woman over compensates; a man will not stay with a woman that he doesn’t find attractive – inside and out, but for real...I have seen some fine a** men with some precious looking women and it does make you wonder, “wow, how did she get him?”
On the flip said, these brotha’s told me that pretty women are SPOILED and it’s always about “me, me, me”. They said that these women are less attentive and too self centered to cater to the needs of their man. I find that interesting because pretty women are spoiled because men have spoiled them, so fella’s you created that monster and it’s probably too late to tame it. You all get so goo-goo-ga-ga when you see a pretty women. Salivation just runs down your mouth and honestly, men don’t think very logically around pretty women.
They also said that pretty women are NOT good in bed and just want to lay there and look cute. Actually, this one surprised me because I would think a woman’s experience would determine her expertise in the bedroom – not her looks. My advice: ladies don’t be too cute to sweat and if you’re sharing your body with a man then you should be comfortable letting your inner kitten out.
UGLY(precious) vs. PRETTY…IS THERE SOME LEGITIMACY TO THIS?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
MALE VS. FEMALE ROLES...THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 50/50
Last weeks blog was about RULES but this week let’s explore ROLES (and I’m not talking about playing dress up & role playing but we must explore that in another blog haha).
I’m a career woman so I know the roles in my relationship have to be modified, but not so much that I strip him of his manhood or me of my femininity. Ladies, let a man be a man and part of that is being a hunter/gatherer so he can care for his family. Modify your roles so the feminine and masculine traits are not stripped.
When I was a little girl I was determined not to accept my womanly role in life. I would watch my mother do all the cooking and cleaning and I vowed that when I got married, all that stuff would be 50/50…THEN I GREW UP…THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 50/50.
Now I know, generally speaking, the house is my responsibility and everything that comes with it…cooking, cleaning, laundry, Etc. Do I expect my future husband to help out in those areas…yes, but I think once we accept our roles, then duties of the house and family will run smoothly.
My sister went to pre-marital counseling and the pastor had them list each thing they would be individually responsible for. Of course that list will change for each couple but you have to recognize the things you’re good at handling, while also recognizing your innate capabilities. And for God’s sake, please don’t assume that your mate just automatically knows the role distinctions. You must communicate your strengths and weaknesses so the roles can be executed effectively.
Ladies, don’t fight your roles. It’s okay to take care of home but fella’s it’s just as cool to help out so you don’t take all her hard work for granted.
I’m a career woman so I know the roles in my relationship have to be modified, but not so much that I strip him of his manhood or me of my femininity. Ladies, let a man be a man and part of that is being a hunter/gatherer so he can care for his family. Modify your roles so the feminine and masculine traits are not stripped.
When I was a little girl I was determined not to accept my womanly role in life. I would watch my mother do all the cooking and cleaning and I vowed that when I got married, all that stuff would be 50/50…THEN I GREW UP…THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 50/50.
Now I know, generally speaking, the house is my responsibility and everything that comes with it…cooking, cleaning, laundry, Etc. Do I expect my future husband to help out in those areas…yes, but I think once we accept our roles, then duties of the house and family will run smoothly.
My sister went to pre-marital counseling and the pastor had them list each thing they would be individually responsible for. Of course that list will change for each couple but you have to recognize the things you’re good at handling, while also recognizing your innate capabilities. And for God’s sake, please don’t assume that your mate just automatically knows the role distinctions. You must communicate your strengths and weaknesses so the roles can be executed effectively.
Ladies, don’t fight your roles. It’s okay to take care of home but fella’s it’s just as cool to help out so you don’t take all her hard work for granted.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
BURN YOUR RELATIONSHIP RULES BOOKS!!!!
I'm a rule breaker by nature because there is always a more creative way to obtain success. The rule book for your lie can not be written until you're dead and gone! Therefore, the rules will NEVER apply to you.
Everyone is reading Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," and that's cool if you look at it for entertainment purposes only. Don't base your dating life around the rules because rules are meant to be broken. You set yourself up for disappointment if you follow the rules to a tee. What are you going to do when you find out that man/woman is the exception? They'll probably be long gone by then.
Harvey also suggests waiting 90 days before you have sex with a man. I know people who are married and they had sex on the first night! The rules leave little room for extraordinary and let's face it, we're all looking for extraordinary experiences. The rules are mundane, predictable and most of all, they are not certain.
I know women who read every relationship rules book they can get their hands on and they are still single, still searching. Ladies, BURN THOSE DAMN RULES BOOKS AND FOLLOW THE RULES & PASSIONS OF YOUR HEART. You will broaden your experiences and expand the potentials for true happiness.
By all means, use common sense but also let your instincts be your guiding force.
Everyone is reading Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," and that's cool if you look at it for entertainment purposes only. Don't base your dating life around the rules because rules are meant to be broken. You set yourself up for disappointment if you follow the rules to a tee. What are you going to do when you find out that man/woman is the exception? They'll probably be long gone by then.
Harvey also suggests waiting 90 days before you have sex with a man. I know people who are married and they had sex on the first night! The rules leave little room for extraordinary and let's face it, we're all looking for extraordinary experiences. The rules are mundane, predictable and most of all, they are not certain.
I know women who read every relationship rules book they can get their hands on and they are still single, still searching. Ladies, BURN THOSE DAMN RULES BOOKS AND FOLLOW THE RULES & PASSIONS OF YOUR HEART. You will broaden your experiences and expand the potentials for true happiness.
By all means, use common sense but also let your instincts be your guiding force.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
YOU ARE WHO YOU ATTRACT
A friend of mine had this status on Facebook recently: “I find myself attracted to the same type of women.” My response to him was…"because you are the same man."
A good test to see yourself for who you REALLY are is just look at the people you date. The people we attract are a direct reflection of who we are – the good, the bad & the ugly. Most of us are stubborn and blind to our own fallacies and the only way to acknowledge them is to see them in someone else.
I dated a man who was so nonchalant about EVERYTHING – and that was me; he was my reflection because that’s the way I’ve always treated men (and I think that’s why men liked me because I was a challenge but that’s another blog for another day). He was in my life to show me that my nonchalant attitude implies that I didn’t care – and I really didn’t, but how could I want a man to care if I never cared? I vowed never to treat men that way again – and I haven’t…and in return I got a man who is attentive and far from nonchalant.
The subtle, positive changes we make within ourselves allow us to meet people with the same qualities. It’s all about growth. Are you ready to grow? Then you will recognize your-self in others. That’s the best way to denounce attributes that no longer suit you. It also allows you to give thanks for the positive characteristics you see in your loved ones. I look at my friends in my circle and I thank God for surrounding me with Good people. I’m like, “Hey, that’s me – all of you are me!” So thank you God for showing my growth as a woman and a spiritual being by sending good people to share this journey with.
If you find yourself attracted to the same type of man or woman, first discover what it is they all have in common; then analyze whether those traits are still suitable for where you’re at in your life; then see how those traits are directly connected to you. When you see THEM in YOU, you can praise them for being a life lesson. From there, you either embrace them or release them.
A good test to see yourself for who you REALLY are is just look at the people you date. The people we attract are a direct reflection of who we are – the good, the bad & the ugly. Most of us are stubborn and blind to our own fallacies and the only way to acknowledge them is to see them in someone else.
I dated a man who was so nonchalant about EVERYTHING – and that was me; he was my reflection because that’s the way I’ve always treated men (and I think that’s why men liked me because I was a challenge but that’s another blog for another day). He was in my life to show me that my nonchalant attitude implies that I didn’t care – and I really didn’t, but how could I want a man to care if I never cared? I vowed never to treat men that way again – and I haven’t…and in return I got a man who is attentive and far from nonchalant.
The subtle, positive changes we make within ourselves allow us to meet people with the same qualities. It’s all about growth. Are you ready to grow? Then you will recognize your-self in others. That’s the best way to denounce attributes that no longer suit you. It also allows you to give thanks for the positive characteristics you see in your loved ones. I look at my friends in my circle and I thank God for surrounding me with Good people. I’m like, “Hey, that’s me – all of you are me!” So thank you God for showing my growth as a woman and a spiritual being by sending good people to share this journey with.
If you find yourself attracted to the same type of man or woman, first discover what it is they all have in common; then analyze whether those traits are still suitable for where you’re at in your life; then see how those traits are directly connected to you. When you see THEM in YOU, you can praise them for being a life lesson. From there, you either embrace them or release them.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
YOU A DAMN APRIL FOOL
ANYONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS AN APRIL FOOL...BUT IT'S OKAY...ONCE YOU READ THIS SMALL BLURB YOU WILL BE FREAKIN' COOL AND CAN AT LEAST SAY YOU LEARNED SOMETHNG TODAY.
In 1582 Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1st. Anyone who continued to celebrate new years on April 1st were called April Fools.
YES, SO THERE USED TO ONLY BE NINE MONTHS IN A YEAR - APRIL THRU DECEMBER- WHICH MAKES SINCE CONSIDERING IT TAKES NINE MONTHS FOR A CHILD TO BE BORN.
SHELLI TINAE'S TIP OF THE DAY: WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ON TIME, BECAUSE WE ARE IN TIME. DON'T LET A MAN-MADE CALENDAR DICTATE YOUR AGE AND SENSE OF WELL BEING.
http://twitter.com/ShelliTinae
In 1582 Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1st. Anyone who continued to celebrate new years on April 1st were called April Fools.
YES, SO THERE USED TO ONLY BE NINE MONTHS IN A YEAR - APRIL THRU DECEMBER- WHICH MAKES SINCE CONSIDERING IT TAKES NINE MONTHS FOR A CHILD TO BE BORN.
SHELLI TINAE'S TIP OF THE DAY: WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ON TIME, BECAUSE WE ARE IN TIME. DON'T LET A MAN-MADE CALENDAR DICTATE YOUR AGE AND SENSE OF WELL BEING.
http://twitter.com/ShelliTinae
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
A ONE NIGHT STAND
We all grown, right? Okay…cool…so let’s talk!
Do you think it’s more acceptable to have a one night stand as we get older?
My cousin is queen of going home at the end of the night with a warm blooded stranger.
She will come up to me and say, “Shelli, I’m going home with him, okay?”
At first I used say, “No, I really don’t think you should go,” but one night Sahsha looked at me and said, “She’s grown; let her go”. So from then on I never put up a fight. I figured I just have to trust her to make the right decision. People are going to do what they want to do anyway, ya know?
At 18, I think people cared more about what their peers thought about them – plus, an 18 year is still finding themselves and such a decision may not be in their best interest.
But let’s fast forward ten years…so now let's say we’re dealing with two consenting 28-year-old's and decide to make it happen that night. Should we judge grown folks for handling grown folks business?
By mid to late 20’s, I think people really have found who they are in life and have accepted most personality and character traits as, “that’s just me”. So even though we may be working on better handling certain situations, I feel like people only make minor changes by this age – unless struck by a tragedy. If they a freak at 28 - they'll probably be one at 48.
So tell me…are one night stands cool for the grown & the Young Jeezy inspired “Umma do me” adults? Do we stop judging people by a certain age and just accept the decisions they make (naughty, nasty ones and all)?
Do you think it’s more acceptable to have a one night stand as we get older?
My cousin is queen of going home at the end of the night with a warm blooded stranger.
She will come up to me and say, “Shelli, I’m going home with him, okay?”
At first I used say, “No, I really don’t think you should go,” but one night Sahsha looked at me and said, “She’s grown; let her go”. So from then on I never put up a fight. I figured I just have to trust her to make the right decision. People are going to do what they want to do anyway, ya know?
At 18, I think people cared more about what their peers thought about them – plus, an 18 year is still finding themselves and such a decision may not be in their best interest.
But let’s fast forward ten years…so now let's say we’re dealing with two consenting 28-year-old's and decide to make it happen that night. Should we judge grown folks for handling grown folks business?
By mid to late 20’s, I think people really have found who they are in life and have accepted most personality and character traits as, “that’s just me”. So even though we may be working on better handling certain situations, I feel like people only make minor changes by this age – unless struck by a tragedy. If they a freak at 28 - they'll probably be one at 48.
So tell me…are one night stands cool for the grown & the Young Jeezy inspired “Umma do me” adults? Do we stop judging people by a certain age and just accept the decisions they make (naughty, nasty ones and all)?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
THE SPANKIN' YOU'LL NEVER FORGET!!!
A good a** whoopin for kids is not as common nowadays as it was when I was growing up. The threat of having the Division of Family and Children Services (DFCS) disrupt your home has left a lot of parents choosing the “time-out” method instead of a good old fashion spankin’.
I’ve only had a handful of spankin's and my sister used to say it was because my mom was too old to care by the time I was born. So naturally, I remember my “love taps” clear as day and still can’t believe I got them. It’s like I’m still standing there saying, “Am I getting spanked right now? This is crazy!”
We're all family so let's share our favorite whoopin’s of all time! After all, the things that make you cry - will eventually make you laugh.
My first favorite whoopin' happened when I was seven years old. My step father was driving me to the school bus stop and I ALWAYS had a smart mouth and he was down right tired of it. I don’t remember exactly what he said to me but I told him, “You not my daddy!” He pulled his little blue pickup truck over so fast and beat my tail! Yes, an open hand, grown man beating! Needless to say, he was definitely daddy after that. I was angry at him for a long time, but looking back, I either deserved the spanking or I deserved the lesson it taught me; Mitch is now the father figure in my life.
My absolute favorite whoopin’ of all time was given to me by my Ganny (R.I.P). I was playing outside of her house with my cousin T’ana and she got mad and threw my ball across the street. Back in the day you needed permission to cross the street so you can say I was a tad bit upset. T’ana realized I was angry and took off running. I chased after her and when I caught her I pushed her and she went flying in the air, bounced, then landed on the concrete driveway. Her leg was bleeding and she was screaming bloody murder.
When my Ganny found out what I had done, she broke out her favorite weapon of choice; a thick piece of plastic that came with one of her Tupperware sets. I was twelve at the time and had decided I was never getting another whoopin’! We did about 5 laps around her large dining room table until finally…she was out of breath. To my dismay, she still had her mother wits and called in reinforcement. She screamed for my Aunt and they trapped me. The speed chase was over; I was caught. She beat me real good. You know the kind that leaves welts of your legs? I got a lick per word: I-THOUGHT-I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-RUN-‘ROUND-MY-TABLE-AND-IF-YOU-KEEP-CRYING-I’M-GONE-REALLY-GIVE-YOU-SOME-THING-TO-CRY-A-BOUT.
To this day, I still think T’ana deserved that spankin’ for throwing my ball across the street. LOL
It’s funny to me now, that’s why I can write about it. Hopefully you have found the humor in some of your old school whoopin’s. Let me know the one’s that are your favorite or most memorable.
I’ve only had a handful of spankin's and my sister used to say it was because my mom was too old to care by the time I was born. So naturally, I remember my “love taps” clear as day and still can’t believe I got them. It’s like I’m still standing there saying, “Am I getting spanked right now? This is crazy!”
We're all family so let's share our favorite whoopin’s of all time! After all, the things that make you cry - will eventually make you laugh.
My first favorite whoopin' happened when I was seven years old. My step father was driving me to the school bus stop and I ALWAYS had a smart mouth and he was down right tired of it. I don’t remember exactly what he said to me but I told him, “You not my daddy!” He pulled his little blue pickup truck over so fast and beat my tail! Yes, an open hand, grown man beating! Needless to say, he was definitely daddy after that. I was angry at him for a long time, but looking back, I either deserved the spanking or I deserved the lesson it taught me; Mitch is now the father figure in my life.
My absolute favorite whoopin’ of all time was given to me by my Ganny (R.I.P). I was playing outside of her house with my cousin T’ana and she got mad and threw my ball across the street. Back in the day you needed permission to cross the street so you can say I was a tad bit upset. T’ana realized I was angry and took off running. I chased after her and when I caught her I pushed her and she went flying in the air, bounced, then landed on the concrete driveway. Her leg was bleeding and she was screaming bloody murder.
When my Ganny found out what I had done, she broke out her favorite weapon of choice; a thick piece of plastic that came with one of her Tupperware sets. I was twelve at the time and had decided I was never getting another whoopin’! We did about 5 laps around her large dining room table until finally…she was out of breath. To my dismay, she still had her mother wits and called in reinforcement. She screamed for my Aunt and they trapped me. The speed chase was over; I was caught. She beat me real good. You know the kind that leaves welts of your legs? I got a lick per word: I-THOUGHT-I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-RUN-‘ROUND-MY-TABLE-AND-IF-YOU-KEEP-CRYING-I’M-GONE-REALLY-GIVE-YOU-SOME-THING-TO-CRY-A-BOUT.
To this day, I still think T’ana deserved that spankin’ for throwing my ball across the street. LOL
It’s funny to me now, that’s why I can write about it. Hopefully you have found the humor in some of your old school whoopin’s. Let me know the one’s that are your favorite or most memorable.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
SEXY PET NAMES
I was sitting here thinking, "What are the sexiest pet names?" My first boyfriend called me "Pookie," and I thought that was the cutest thing since sliced bread, but I was fourteen so everything was cute. I think we can all agree that Pookie is not sexy but the person saying it, made it adorable. Isn't the importance of terms of endearments that they are delivered by your beloved mate?
One thing I hate: for a guy I just met to call me sweetie! My first thought is that he says that to every woman he meets. "SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME." That's the sexiest thing for a man I just met to do; subtly acknowledge at the end of the conversation that he remembered my name. Let's have a good argument first. Then you can pull out those terms of endearments like get out of jail free cards.
Okay so my favorite and sexiest pet name is simply...BABE. It's still reserved for that special someone, you can say it in public (unlike the stares you would get from saying something like Pookie), and babe is like the name you call your TEAMMATE. Don't slip up and call the side guy or chick, babe, because I guarantee they will look WAY too deep into it.
So I'm looking for the crowd favorites. What are the sexiest pet names? And what makes them sexy to you?
One thing I hate: for a guy I just met to call me sweetie! My first thought is that he says that to every woman he meets. "SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME." That's the sexiest thing for a man I just met to do; subtly acknowledge at the end of the conversation that he remembered my name. Let's have a good argument first. Then you can pull out those terms of endearments like get out of jail free cards.
Okay so my favorite and sexiest pet name is simply...BABE. It's still reserved for that special someone, you can say it in public (unlike the stares you would get from saying something like Pookie), and babe is like the name you call your TEAMMATE. Don't slip up and call the side guy or chick, babe, because I guarantee they will look WAY too deep into it.
So I'm looking for the crowd favorites. What are the sexiest pet names? And what makes them sexy to you?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
CIRCUMCISION: MUTILATION OR ENHANCEMENT OF THE MALE GENITALIA?
I just want to have a candid conversation about circumcision.
I know I’m not a guy and the only thing severed from me at birth was the umbilical cord, but I may give birth to a son one day so the thought has crossed my mind: will I get my new born circumcised? It is becoming less common for parents to have this procedure done but it’s so taboo that people don’t share this information, probably in fear of ridicule.
I believe circumcision was more for population control more than a religious right. Men already like to have sex like jack rabbits, so imagine ALL men running around with the nerve endings on their penis in tack. LAWD HAVE MERCY! LOL On the flip side, ladies, how would you feel if your clitorises was partially severed at birth? I am not one to believe the hype just because it was handed down from generation to generation. Are we here to think intuitively or regurgitate pseudo information? Anyway, once it’s done, it’s done and there’s no, uh, growing it back.
When I was a sophomore in college I read an article in the Men’s Health Magazine and it was the account of several men who decided to get circumcised as adults and all of them were very disappointed after the surgery. Their main complaint was in regards to sex; it just didn’t feel the same. The foreskin of the penis has a lot of nerves that intensifies the feeling during sex – but really that is the natural feeling and the circumcised feeling is unnatural right? The American Academy of Pediatrics have taken a stance…well sort of, they now neither discourage nor recommend the procedure. My bet is they don’t discourage it because it’s profitable and they don’t recommend it because they can’t validate its benefits.
The article ‘Should all Males be Circumcised?’ on menshealth.com states, “The founder of the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC -- get it?) first witnessed the procedure in 1979 while training for her nurse's degree. The unlucky baby, she later wrote, was ‘strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board... struggling against his restraints -- tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly" while awaiting the knife. Then as the doctor, using no anesthesia, began cutting into the penis with a scalpel, "the baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill continuous screams...’
Even though the pain is evident, I can hear some women saying, “I hear an uncircumcised penis is unhealthy or it looks funny.” First of all, if a man is not hygienic, it has nothing to do with the foreskin of his penis, he’s just nasty. Secondly, if it’s funny looking before the snip, it probably will be after.
I’m definitely not telling people what to do but I would like to open up some dialogue. Let’s have a modern conversation on an ancient procedure.
I would love to hear from men who are circumcised and from those that are not. It’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of, afterall, God made us perfect. And ladies, let me know your take on uncircumcised penises. Do you have a preference? Do you have circumcised children? Any regrets or concerns?
------------------------
Here are some links and information I found:
Did you circumcise your baby boy?
yes (10,712)
40%
no (15,875)
59%
Total Votes: 26,587
(survey on about.com)
‘Circumcision!’ - http://dherbs.com/articles/circumcision-258.html
‘Care of an intact Penis’ http://pediatrics.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=pediatrics&cdn=health&tm=1065&gps=539_471_1020_431&f=00&su=p284.9.336.ip_p726.5.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.cirp.org/pages/parents/peron1/
‘Doctors Opposing Circumcision’ - http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
Journal of the American Medical Association, ‘Circumcision in the United States’ - http://www.cirp.org/library/general/laumann/
Men’s Health, ‘Should All Males be Circumcised?’ - http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=health&category=other.diseases.ailments&conitem=6a8cd36265f1f110VgnVCM10000013281eac____
I know I’m not a guy and the only thing severed from me at birth was the umbilical cord, but I may give birth to a son one day so the thought has crossed my mind: will I get my new born circumcised? It is becoming less common for parents to have this procedure done but it’s so taboo that people don’t share this information, probably in fear of ridicule.
I believe circumcision was more for population control more than a religious right. Men already like to have sex like jack rabbits, so imagine ALL men running around with the nerve endings on their penis in tack. LAWD HAVE MERCY! LOL On the flip side, ladies, how would you feel if your clitorises was partially severed at birth? I am not one to believe the hype just because it was handed down from generation to generation. Are we here to think intuitively or regurgitate pseudo information? Anyway, once it’s done, it’s done and there’s no, uh, growing it back.
When I was a sophomore in college I read an article in the Men’s Health Magazine and it was the account of several men who decided to get circumcised as adults and all of them were very disappointed after the surgery. Their main complaint was in regards to sex; it just didn’t feel the same. The foreskin of the penis has a lot of nerves that intensifies the feeling during sex – but really that is the natural feeling and the circumcised feeling is unnatural right? The American Academy of Pediatrics have taken a stance…well sort of, they now neither discourage nor recommend the procedure. My bet is they don’t discourage it because it’s profitable and they don’t recommend it because they can’t validate its benefits.
The article ‘Should all Males be Circumcised?’ on menshealth.com states, “The founder of the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC -- get it?) first witnessed the procedure in 1979 while training for her nurse's degree. The unlucky baby, she later wrote, was ‘strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board... struggling against his restraints -- tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly" while awaiting the knife. Then as the doctor, using no anesthesia, began cutting into the penis with a scalpel, "the baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill continuous screams...’
Even though the pain is evident, I can hear some women saying, “I hear an uncircumcised penis is unhealthy or it looks funny.” First of all, if a man is not hygienic, it has nothing to do with the foreskin of his penis, he’s just nasty. Secondly, if it’s funny looking before the snip, it probably will be after.
I’m definitely not telling people what to do but I would like to open up some dialogue. Let’s have a modern conversation on an ancient procedure.
I would love to hear from men who are circumcised and from those that are not. It’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of, afterall, God made us perfect. And ladies, let me know your take on uncircumcised penises. Do you have a preference? Do you have circumcised children? Any regrets or concerns?
------------------------
Here are some links and information I found:
Did you circumcise your baby boy?
yes (10,712)
40%
no (15,875)
59%
Total Votes: 26,587
(survey on about.com)
‘Circumcision!’ - http://dherbs.com/articles/circumcision-258.html
‘Care of an intact Penis’ http://pediatrics.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=pediatrics&cdn=health&tm=1065&gps=539_471_1020_431&f=00&su=p284.9.336.ip_p726.5.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.cirp.org/pages/parents/peron1/
‘Doctors Opposing Circumcision’ - http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
Journal of the American Medical Association, ‘Circumcision in the United States’ - http://www.cirp.org/library/general/laumann/
Men’s Health, ‘Should All Males be Circumcised?’ - http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=health&category=other.diseases.ailments&conitem=6a8cd36265f1f110VgnVCM10000013281eac____
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I SHOT A GUN...AND I LIKED IT!
I went to a gun range and I was so scared I was almost shaking. There was a rainfall of gun shells hitting me on my head from the guy at my right and the guy at my left. I put on my gun range armor; ear and eye protectors, a mean mug, and then I got in my stance. All the while I was thinking, “What the hell am I doing here?” Side note: ladies this can make a hot date. It’s not so bad to have a handsome man lightly grip your waist as he shows you the proper shooting techniques.
So the instructions from my friend were simple: point, aim and shoot for the target. I was already warned that I would either love or hate shooting and I would know immediately after the first shot.
BOOM!
The sound of the gun echoed throughout my entire body. The lead sprays so fast that the gun gives a “kick back,” so you really have to hold the gun steady. I fired a round and I was feeling really proud of myself. We pulled up the target to see how I did…nothing. I hit everything but the target. No, I’m serious. I actually hit the clip that the target was attached to. I could see that being an expert on these things would take a lot of practice but I immediately discovered…I LIKED IT.
Okay, so I was shooting a .357 revolver because the gun shop owner recommends them for women, as his wife and daughter have made that their gun of choice and they carry them in their purses (and guys thought we just carried lipstick and feminine products). He said they like the revolver because you basically just point and shoot. Ladies, if you’re ever in danger, the last thing you want to think about is loading a clip and cocking the gun. So I was sold on test driving the revolver for that reason and also because they don’t jam like a semi-automatic gun has the chance of doing. I was seriously thrown into gun 101 class but I was definitely enjoying the lessons.
My friends bought guns that day and I left there with information on the gun I wanted plus the laser grip I fell in love with. I had the application for gun registration, too. I was totally ready to make a purchase but something hit me: if I buy a gun, damn, there is a chance I might use it one day and let me tell you, that is a scary thought.
So, I was straddling the fence but I did make a decision, but first I would love to hear how the women feel about carrying a gun. Do you have one, ladies? Also, how do the fellas feel about their women being equipped to shoot a firearm?
So the instructions from my friend were simple: point, aim and shoot for the target. I was already warned that I would either love or hate shooting and I would know immediately after the first shot.
BOOM!
The sound of the gun echoed throughout my entire body. The lead sprays so fast that the gun gives a “kick back,” so you really have to hold the gun steady. I fired a round and I was feeling really proud of myself. We pulled up the target to see how I did…nothing. I hit everything but the target. No, I’m serious. I actually hit the clip that the target was attached to. I could see that being an expert on these things would take a lot of practice but I immediately discovered…I LIKED IT.
Okay, so I was shooting a .357 revolver because the gun shop owner recommends them for women, as his wife and daughter have made that their gun of choice and they carry them in their purses (and guys thought we just carried lipstick and feminine products). He said they like the revolver because you basically just point and shoot. Ladies, if you’re ever in danger, the last thing you want to think about is loading a clip and cocking the gun. So I was sold on test driving the revolver for that reason and also because they don’t jam like a semi-automatic gun has the chance of doing. I was seriously thrown into gun 101 class but I was definitely enjoying the lessons.
My friends bought guns that day and I left there with information on the gun I wanted plus the laser grip I fell in love with. I had the application for gun registration, too. I was totally ready to make a purchase but something hit me: if I buy a gun, damn, there is a chance I might use it one day and let me tell you, that is a scary thought.
So, I was straddling the fence but I did make a decision, but first I would love to hear how the women feel about carrying a gun. Do you have one, ladies? Also, how do the fellas feel about their women being equipped to shoot a firearm?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
COMMITMENT GUIDELINES
GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND COMMITMENT GUIDELINES:
-Focus on growing your FRIENDSHIP
-Agree to an EXCLUSIVE relationship
-Titles (boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, etc) are OPTIONAL, based on the couple
-Commit to the person for who they are right now, and not who you think they can POTENTIALLY be
-Set BOUNDARIES that both partners agree on
-BE REAL – so your friendship can reflect that. Be you from the jump!
-LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH – so if it’s too much work, you have the option to walk away
HUSBAND/WIFE COMMITMENT GUIDELINES:
-Marry your BEST FRIEND
-A formal commitment to an EXCLUSIVE relationship
-Titles ARE NOT OPTIONAL
-Eliminated the POTENTIALS and determined this person (good and bad) is who I want, raw and uncensored
-Set BOUNDARIES that both partners agree on (could be same from before marriage)
-Continue to BE REAL so your marriage will be based in truth
-LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH – it takes hard work but don’t make quitting an option
Thursday, January 22, 2009
My man, yes...but a husband you are not!
I’m trying to get a clear understanding of what being “committed” means in these days and times. A piece of paper will undoubtedly legalize the union but, theoretically, you both were still monogamous prior to the ceremony. You use this time as a testing period to see if this person can hold your interest...for life. Guidelines and boundaries are established early on in the relationship, even if they are subtle exchanges of information.
Often we solely say, “Yes we are together,” and just expect the other party to be on the same page; we expect them to act along the perimeters we deem feasible. So, I don’t have this down to a science, but thank God for my blog family because now I want us to create a list: GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND rules vs. HUSBAND/WIFE rules.
But first tell me if you think the GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND titles are juvenile since we are no longer girls and boys.
Here I’ll start:
I think I’d rather refer to my mate as my “man,” because a boy, he is not! On the other hand I think, to hell with the technicalities and I just want to conform to the norm. Saying “boyfriend” will cut to the chase: “yes that’s my dude, but we aren’t married, and we aren’t engaged.”
GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
Agree to an exclusive relationship
HUSBAND/WIFE COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
A formal commitment to an exclusive relationship
PLEASE ADD TO THIS SO WE CAN GET A GOOD LIST COMPILED AND FIND OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN WHAT'S EXPECTED AT THE START (GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND) AND THE END (HUSBAND/WIFE) OF A RELATIONSHIP.
Often we solely say, “Yes we are together,” and just expect the other party to be on the same page; we expect them to act along the perimeters we deem feasible. So, I don’t have this down to a science, but thank God for my blog family because now I want us to create a list: GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND rules vs. HUSBAND/WIFE rules.
But first tell me if you think the GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND titles are juvenile since we are no longer girls and boys.
Here I’ll start:
I think I’d rather refer to my mate as my “man,” because a boy, he is not! On the other hand I think, to hell with the technicalities and I just want to conform to the norm. Saying “boyfriend” will cut to the chase: “yes that’s my dude, but we aren’t married, and we aren’t engaged.”
GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
Agree to an exclusive relationship
HUSBAND/WIFE COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
A formal commitment to an exclusive relationship
PLEASE ADD TO THIS SO WE CAN GET A GOOD LIST COMPILED AND FIND OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN WHAT'S EXPECTED AT THE START (GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND) AND THE END (HUSBAND/WIFE) OF A RELATIONSHIP.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Don't Date Women over 30!
"I had baggage but now I only take a carry on...I like to travel light" - Shelli Tinae
A friend of mine told me that he is "almost" done with women that are 30 and over (what I like to call 30 plussers). He says they have too much baggage weighing them down and that greatly lessens their potential for "wifie" status.
He went on to tell me that he took a 30 plusser on a date and he complimented her on her perfume; then he asked her the name of the fragrance. She refused to tell him. The woman later confessed that she didn't tell him because she didn't want him to go out and buy it for another woman so he could smell it on her.
He's "almost" done and trying to maintain his liberal stance on dating. This is just one of his experiences with 30 plussers and he's getting fed up. I had to ask him: "So at what age does a woman have less baggage?"
"24-27…my research has shown that that is the range of optimal performance for a woman..in all aspects..she's at her best and brightest," he said.
He professes that yes, there are exceptions to the rule but, nonetheless, he still has lumped women over 30 into a problematic category that includes anger, baggage, and insecurities.
I will say that, the older a woman get's the more experience she has when you meet her - and that can either be good or bad. In fact, it's both good and bad. These experiences have shaped her current existence and a lot of women have let those experiences dictate how they interact with the men they meet. Ladies, not only is this unfair to them, but it's also unfair to you. No one wants to be tried in a court of law for someone else's crime.
I don't want to dog his point of view because I do think it's valid. Generally speaking, we need to add all of those experiences (good and bad) up and look at them as one GRAND lesson. There is no need to look back and dwell on the past because it is nothing more but the sum of this present moment and in theory should make you a better person because you will have learned who to BE and who not to BE.
On the other hand, this is not about age because age is relative. A woman 24-27 years old may have fewer experiences but they could have been severelydamaging to her character.
Men, before you start complaining about women, you need to take a look in the mirror because, after all...you are who attract. If you see reoccurring problems in your life, there is a lesson you are missing. So in the end, it's not about the women over 30, it's about renewing YOUR-SELF so your experiences with women reflect your renewed sense of self.
A friend of mine told me that he is "almost" done with women that are 30 and over (what I like to call 30 plussers). He says they have too much baggage weighing them down and that greatly lessens their potential for "wifie" status.
He went on to tell me that he took a 30 plusser on a date and he complimented her on her perfume; then he asked her the name of the fragrance. She refused to tell him. The woman later confessed that she didn't tell him because she didn't want him to go out and buy it for another woman so he could smell it on her.
He's "almost" done and trying to maintain his liberal stance on dating. This is just one of his experiences with 30 plussers and he's getting fed up. I had to ask him: "So at what age does a woman have less baggage?"
"24-27…my research has shown that that is the range of optimal performance for a woman..in all aspects..she's at her best and brightest," he said.
He professes that yes, there are exceptions to the rule but, nonetheless, he still has lumped women over 30 into a problematic category that includes anger, baggage, and insecurities.
I will say that, the older a woman get's the more experience she has when you meet her - and that can either be good or bad. In fact, it's both good and bad. These experiences have shaped her current existence and a lot of women have let those experiences dictate how they interact with the men they meet. Ladies, not only is this unfair to them, but it's also unfair to you. No one wants to be tried in a court of law for someone else's crime.
I don't want to dog his point of view because I do think it's valid. Generally speaking, we need to add all of those experiences (good and bad) up and look at them as one GRAND lesson. There is no need to look back and dwell on the past because it is nothing more but the sum of this present moment and in theory should make you a better person because you will have learned who to BE and who not to BE.
On the other hand, this is not about age because age is relative. A woman 24-27 years old may have fewer experiences but they could have been severelydamaging to her character.
Men, before you start complaining about women, you need to take a look in the mirror because, after all...you are who attract. If you see reoccurring problems in your life, there is a lesson you are missing. So in the end, it's not about the women over 30, it's about renewing YOUR-SELF so your experiences with women reflect your renewed sense of self.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
2009 - THE YEAR OF TRUTH
We should never hesitate to say that we know the truth, because we do, for the realization of the unity of God and man is the truth. – Ernest Holmes
When you realize that GOD IS and works in and through you, lies cease to be an option because standing on the wings of truth, you realize it is your doorway to happiness; truth is the key that unlocks confusion in your heart. Your heart will ache if you allow lies the pleasure of acting as righteous.
All of our experiences are based on the nature of our thoughts and how we play them out in our lives. If we think truth – on a deep level – then we should voice that truth which will produce goodness in our lives. The truth resonates at a high frequency in your spirit and body and cannot be denied.
Thy word is true from the beginning and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth forever – Psalm 119:160
I think the big problem is acting on the truth that we instinctively and unequivocally know. Yes, the word is true from the beginning but we have free will to mask the truth under a veil of lies. The catch is…you will never be free under that veil because you can’t see where you are and you definitely can’t see where you are heading if lies are your guide.
Nothing but goodness can come from the truth and there’s a sense of ease that comes with it - a sense of relief. In our youth we learned to lie to keep secrets of wrongdoing and to avoid punishment. That is hard to outgrow because even adults fear being punished and I think the biggest thing adults are scared of is being judged. People are going to view you from their own perspective no matter what so you may as well be viewed authentically. Only the truth will ensure you are surrounded by people of the same nature, thus eliminating the fear of punishment and judgment.
No more white lies; no more telling half but not all of the truth; no more concocting detailed lies in our mind so we can act them out later on the stage of illusion; no more fearing the truth will cripple us, when it fact, it will set us free.
Let’s start the NEW year with a NEW reason to be truthful; because without truth we stay in a vicious cycle of lies thus limiting our spiritual growth. Lies are to darkness what truth is to light. Stand in the light of truth and not in the darkness of your lies. Don’t lie to yourself because that’s where all thoughts begin and don’t perpetuate those lies by speaking them into existence.
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY THE TRUTH BE YOU….ALWAYS
When you realize that GOD IS and works in and through you, lies cease to be an option because standing on the wings of truth, you realize it is your doorway to happiness; truth is the key that unlocks confusion in your heart. Your heart will ache if you allow lies the pleasure of acting as righteous.
All of our experiences are based on the nature of our thoughts and how we play them out in our lives. If we think truth – on a deep level – then we should voice that truth which will produce goodness in our lives. The truth resonates at a high frequency in your spirit and body and cannot be denied.
Thy word is true from the beginning and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth forever – Psalm 119:160
I think the big problem is acting on the truth that we instinctively and unequivocally know. Yes, the word is true from the beginning but we have free will to mask the truth under a veil of lies. The catch is…you will never be free under that veil because you can’t see where you are and you definitely can’t see where you are heading if lies are your guide.
Nothing but goodness can come from the truth and there’s a sense of ease that comes with it - a sense of relief. In our youth we learned to lie to keep secrets of wrongdoing and to avoid punishment. That is hard to outgrow because even adults fear being punished and I think the biggest thing adults are scared of is being judged. People are going to view you from their own perspective no matter what so you may as well be viewed authentically. Only the truth will ensure you are surrounded by people of the same nature, thus eliminating the fear of punishment and judgment.
No more white lies; no more telling half but not all of the truth; no more concocting detailed lies in our mind so we can act them out later on the stage of illusion; no more fearing the truth will cripple us, when it fact, it will set us free.
Let’s start the NEW year with a NEW reason to be truthful; because without truth we stay in a vicious cycle of lies thus limiting our spiritual growth. Lies are to darkness what truth is to light. Stand in the light of truth and not in the darkness of your lies. Don’t lie to yourself because that’s where all thoughts begin and don’t perpetuate those lies by speaking them into existence.
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY THE TRUTH BE YOU….ALWAYS
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