For black women hair is ALWAYS an issue. Whether it’s fried, dyed or laid to the side, hair is a focal point. We decide on all activities based on whether or not our hair will get messed up. I want to work out but my hair…I want to go swimming but my hair…I want to be sexy in bed but my hair…These challenges are the reason why I chose a natural hairstyle so it didn’t interfere with my active lifestyle. Most black women haven’t chosen the natural route so the men who love them need to be more understanding. Look at it this way, if you want her to sleep without a scarf more often – then offer to pay for some of those expensive hair bills. A compromise has to be found because I guarantee you she will not abandon the scarf completely.
Since I was a toddler a scarf was apart of my nightly wardrobe. From blue bandanas to momma’s old nylon stockings, to silk scarves and bonnets – the head wrap was a staple in my house. When I was younger it was easier on my mom so she didn’t have to do anything on a busy school morning but re-twist my ponytails that were flattened like pancakes during my nights sleep. As I got older and did my own hair, I continued wrapping my hair at night because without them my hair would be all over the place.
The scarf became a ritualistic necessity.
Before I locked my hair, I can remember not wanting a man to see me in my scarf at night so I would sacrifice more hours in the mirror the next morning just to save myself from embarrassment but after a few rendezvous’ that scarf was put to use. Is the scarf sexy? Maybe not but neither is a dew rag or snoring in bed. Women – black women in particular, make sacrifices at night to maintain our sexy during the day. I know some men feel like women should be damn near perfect for them all the time but that’s neither fair nor realistic. If it bothers you that a woman needs to wear a head wrap every night and you are starting to find her unattractive, then you may be best dating a woman with natural hair. She is more carefree about her hairdo and seldom wears a scarf to bed. The other option is to remember that wearing a scarf is not a character trait so remember the reasons why you chose her in the first place.
Ladies, do you wear a scarf to bed? Guys, does it bother you to see a woman sleep in a scarf?
