I have been that girl who tried too hard to get a man, thinking this is what will please him - but I lost myself in the meantime because I was afraid to show him who I really was. Now I realize, if he doesn't know who I am, then he'll never be mine anyway. There would always be some obstacle inhibiting our growth because of the false portrayals of the real ME. Trying to keep up an ideal image was a disservice to myself...it was a disservice to the man I was desperately trying to impress. I was trying to be so perfect, that it made me imperfect. My experiences have taught me to cut to the chase and expose my true self without fear of rejection. I look at the men I date as a potential friend - not a potential husband. It takes the pressure off the entire situation.
Often we try too hard - especially if the person meets our "fantasy island" criteria. Then we get mentally obsessed with meeting all of his requirements. "I am good enough, see!" Being your authentic self on a date doesn't mean exposing your entire background on a first date, but it does mean feeling comfortable enough not to embellish the truth.The real person will come out eventually so you may as well be seen for who you are in the beginning of the friendship/relationship. You don't need a representative to stand in the place of the real you because once you show your true light, you risk the chance of being judged as fake. A lot of people have their guard up but those are the people who will miss out on meaningful relationships.
I don't think people always intend to cover up the truth, some of them are just surface level people. Trying to break down those walls and get them to open up is a b**ch but I think that's also associated with fear. They will never let you in because they still haven't come to accept who they are. We definitely need someone who accepts their past and is not afraid to communicate it. When you see your growth - the past is not shameful.
So once again things start right where they began...with yourself. When you lovingly accept your authentic self you can share that essence with everyone you meet.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Cuddle Weather is Here!
The best part about this chill in the air…IT’S CUDDLE TIME.
I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that the weather dictates your mood and cold weather tends to make us desire a warm body constantly around us. It’s not just about warmth but cuddling is a great way to show affection. Turn down the heater and turn up the skin-to-skin contact. Any person you want to share your space with says a lot.
One of my favorite things to do while cuddling is listening to a man’s heartbeat. It’s so alive…so intricate. The simple beating of a heart can put life in a precious perspective. Try cuddling in silence and really get in tune with one another. The cold weather is just a great excuse to make that happen. The summer is about freedom and the winter is about seclusion. There is nothing more people want to do than snuggle up with their boo during those cold nights because as soon as summer comes it’s time to be out and to be seen.
It dawned on me recently that every break up I’ve had has been in April. Soon as a hint of warmth catches me…I’m gone! It’s something about the seasons that seem to dictate my “relationship mood”…it’s a natural unexplained phenomenon. Spring is about change and rebirth and the sun provides the source of energy to make that happen. Now that it’s fall and getting cold outside, use this time to retreat and snuggle up with that special someone. It’s the little things that make a person know they are loved and appreciated. Holding a person close to you for an extended period of time is a good way to get back to the basics and cuddling is a basic necessity that should not be overlooked. It is a subtle, silent – yet intense connection that your soul will appreciate once your bodies gently collide.
I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that the weather dictates your mood and cold weather tends to make us desire a warm body constantly around us. It’s not just about warmth but cuddling is a great way to show affection. Turn down the heater and turn up the skin-to-skin contact. Any person you want to share your space with says a lot.
One of my favorite things to do while cuddling is listening to a man’s heartbeat. It’s so alive…so intricate. The simple beating of a heart can put life in a precious perspective. Try cuddling in silence and really get in tune with one another. The cold weather is just a great excuse to make that happen. The summer is about freedom and the winter is about seclusion. There is nothing more people want to do than snuggle up with their boo during those cold nights because as soon as summer comes it’s time to be out and to be seen.
It dawned on me recently that every break up I’ve had has been in April. Soon as a hint of warmth catches me…I’m gone! It’s something about the seasons that seem to dictate my “relationship mood”…it’s a natural unexplained phenomenon. Spring is about change and rebirth and the sun provides the source of energy to make that happen. Now that it’s fall and getting cold outside, use this time to retreat and snuggle up with that special someone. It’s the little things that make a person know they are loved and appreciated. Holding a person close to you for an extended period of time is a good way to get back to the basics and cuddling is a basic necessity that should not be overlooked. It is a subtle, silent – yet intense connection that your soul will appreciate once your bodies gently collide.
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