We all grown, right? Okay…cool…so let’s talk!
Do you think it’s more acceptable to have a one night stand as we get older?
My cousin is queen of going home at the end of the night with a warm blooded stranger.
She will come up to me and say, “Shelli, I’m going home with him, okay?”
At first I used say, “No, I really don’t think you should go,” but one night Sahsha looked at me and said, “She’s grown; let her go”. So from then on I never put up a fight. I figured I just have to trust her to make the right decision. People are going to do what they want to do anyway, ya know?
At 18, I think people cared more about what their peers thought about them – plus, an 18 year is still finding themselves and such a decision may not be in their best interest.
But let’s fast forward ten years…so now let's say we’re dealing with two consenting 28-year-old's and decide to make it happen that night. Should we judge grown folks for handling grown folks business?
By mid to late 20’s, I think people really have found who they are in life and have accepted most personality and character traits as, “that’s just me”. So even though we may be working on better handling certain situations, I feel like people only make minor changes by this age – unless struck by a tragedy. If they a freak at 28 - they'll probably be one at 48.
So tell me…are one night stands cool for the grown & the Young Jeezy inspired “Umma do me” adults? Do we stop judging people by a certain age and just accept the decisions they make (naughty, nasty ones and all)?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
THE SPANKIN' YOU'LL NEVER FORGET!!!
A good a** whoopin for kids is not as common nowadays as it was when I was growing up. The threat of having the Division of Family and Children Services (DFCS) disrupt your home has left a lot of parents choosing the “time-out” method instead of a good old fashion spankin’.
I’ve only had a handful of spankin's and my sister used to say it was because my mom was too old to care by the time I was born. So naturally, I remember my “love taps” clear as day and still can’t believe I got them. It’s like I’m still standing there saying, “Am I getting spanked right now? This is crazy!”
We're all family so let's share our favorite whoopin’s of all time! After all, the things that make you cry - will eventually make you laugh.
My first favorite whoopin' happened when I was seven years old. My step father was driving me to the school bus stop and I ALWAYS had a smart mouth and he was down right tired of it. I don’t remember exactly what he said to me but I told him, “You not my daddy!” He pulled his little blue pickup truck over so fast and beat my tail! Yes, an open hand, grown man beating! Needless to say, he was definitely daddy after that. I was angry at him for a long time, but looking back, I either deserved the spanking or I deserved the lesson it taught me; Mitch is now the father figure in my life.
My absolute favorite whoopin’ of all time was given to me by my Ganny (R.I.P). I was playing outside of her house with my cousin T’ana and she got mad and threw my ball across the street. Back in the day you needed permission to cross the street so you can say I was a tad bit upset. T’ana realized I was angry and took off running. I chased after her and when I caught her I pushed her and she went flying in the air, bounced, then landed on the concrete driveway. Her leg was bleeding and she was screaming bloody murder.
When my Ganny found out what I had done, she broke out her favorite weapon of choice; a thick piece of plastic that came with one of her Tupperware sets. I was twelve at the time and had decided I was never getting another whoopin’! We did about 5 laps around her large dining room table until finally…she was out of breath. To my dismay, she still had her mother wits and called in reinforcement. She screamed for my Aunt and they trapped me. The speed chase was over; I was caught. She beat me real good. You know the kind that leaves welts of your legs? I got a lick per word: I-THOUGHT-I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-RUN-‘ROUND-MY-TABLE-AND-IF-YOU-KEEP-CRYING-I’M-GONE-REALLY-GIVE-YOU-SOME-THING-TO-CRY-A-BOUT.
To this day, I still think T’ana deserved that spankin’ for throwing my ball across the street. LOL
It’s funny to me now, that’s why I can write about it. Hopefully you have found the humor in some of your old school whoopin’s. Let me know the one’s that are your favorite or most memorable.
I’ve only had a handful of spankin's and my sister used to say it was because my mom was too old to care by the time I was born. So naturally, I remember my “love taps” clear as day and still can’t believe I got them. It’s like I’m still standing there saying, “Am I getting spanked right now? This is crazy!”
We're all family so let's share our favorite whoopin’s of all time! After all, the things that make you cry - will eventually make you laugh.
My first favorite whoopin' happened when I was seven years old. My step father was driving me to the school bus stop and I ALWAYS had a smart mouth and he was down right tired of it. I don’t remember exactly what he said to me but I told him, “You not my daddy!” He pulled his little blue pickup truck over so fast and beat my tail! Yes, an open hand, grown man beating! Needless to say, he was definitely daddy after that. I was angry at him for a long time, but looking back, I either deserved the spanking or I deserved the lesson it taught me; Mitch is now the father figure in my life.
My absolute favorite whoopin’ of all time was given to me by my Ganny (R.I.P). I was playing outside of her house with my cousin T’ana and she got mad and threw my ball across the street. Back in the day you needed permission to cross the street so you can say I was a tad bit upset. T’ana realized I was angry and took off running. I chased after her and when I caught her I pushed her and she went flying in the air, bounced, then landed on the concrete driveway. Her leg was bleeding and she was screaming bloody murder.
When my Ganny found out what I had done, she broke out her favorite weapon of choice; a thick piece of plastic that came with one of her Tupperware sets. I was twelve at the time and had decided I was never getting another whoopin’! We did about 5 laps around her large dining room table until finally…she was out of breath. To my dismay, she still had her mother wits and called in reinforcement. She screamed for my Aunt and they trapped me. The speed chase was over; I was caught. She beat me real good. You know the kind that leaves welts of your legs? I got a lick per word: I-THOUGHT-I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-RUN-‘ROUND-MY-TABLE-AND-IF-YOU-KEEP-CRYING-I’M-GONE-REALLY-GIVE-YOU-SOME-THING-TO-CRY-A-BOUT.
To this day, I still think T’ana deserved that spankin’ for throwing my ball across the street. LOL
It’s funny to me now, that’s why I can write about it. Hopefully you have found the humor in some of your old school whoopin’s. Let me know the one’s that are your favorite or most memorable.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
SEXY PET NAMES
I was sitting here thinking, "What are the sexiest pet names?" My first boyfriend called me "Pookie," and I thought that was the cutest thing since sliced bread, but I was fourteen so everything was cute. I think we can all agree that Pookie is not sexy but the person saying it, made it adorable. Isn't the importance of terms of endearments that they are delivered by your beloved mate?
One thing I hate: for a guy I just met to call me sweetie! My first thought is that he says that to every woman he meets. "SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME." That's the sexiest thing for a man I just met to do; subtly acknowledge at the end of the conversation that he remembered my name. Let's have a good argument first. Then you can pull out those terms of endearments like get out of jail free cards.
Okay so my favorite and sexiest pet name is simply...BABE. It's still reserved for that special someone, you can say it in public (unlike the stares you would get from saying something like Pookie), and babe is like the name you call your TEAMMATE. Don't slip up and call the side guy or chick, babe, because I guarantee they will look WAY too deep into it.
So I'm looking for the crowd favorites. What are the sexiest pet names? And what makes them sexy to you?
One thing I hate: for a guy I just met to call me sweetie! My first thought is that he says that to every woman he meets. "SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME." That's the sexiest thing for a man I just met to do; subtly acknowledge at the end of the conversation that he remembered my name. Let's have a good argument first. Then you can pull out those terms of endearments like get out of jail free cards.
Okay so my favorite and sexiest pet name is simply...BABE. It's still reserved for that special someone, you can say it in public (unlike the stares you would get from saying something like Pookie), and babe is like the name you call your TEAMMATE. Don't slip up and call the side guy or chick, babe, because I guarantee they will look WAY too deep into it.
So I'm looking for the crowd favorites. What are the sexiest pet names? And what makes them sexy to you?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
CIRCUMCISION: MUTILATION OR ENHANCEMENT OF THE MALE GENITALIA?
I just want to have a candid conversation about circumcision.
I know I’m not a guy and the only thing severed from me at birth was the umbilical cord, but I may give birth to a son one day so the thought has crossed my mind: will I get my new born circumcised? It is becoming less common for parents to have this procedure done but it’s so taboo that people don’t share this information, probably in fear of ridicule.
I believe circumcision was more for population control more than a religious right. Men already like to have sex like jack rabbits, so imagine ALL men running around with the nerve endings on their penis in tack. LAWD HAVE MERCY! LOL On the flip side, ladies, how would you feel if your clitorises was partially severed at birth? I am not one to believe the hype just because it was handed down from generation to generation. Are we here to think intuitively or regurgitate pseudo information? Anyway, once it’s done, it’s done and there’s no, uh, growing it back.
When I was a sophomore in college I read an article in the Men’s Health Magazine and it was the account of several men who decided to get circumcised as adults and all of them were very disappointed after the surgery. Their main complaint was in regards to sex; it just didn’t feel the same. The foreskin of the penis has a lot of nerves that intensifies the feeling during sex – but really that is the natural feeling and the circumcised feeling is unnatural right? The American Academy of Pediatrics have taken a stance…well sort of, they now neither discourage nor recommend the procedure. My bet is they don’t discourage it because it’s profitable and they don’t recommend it because they can’t validate its benefits.
The article ‘Should all Males be Circumcised?’ on menshealth.com states, “The founder of the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC -- get it?) first witnessed the procedure in 1979 while training for her nurse's degree. The unlucky baby, she later wrote, was ‘strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board... struggling against his restraints -- tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly" while awaiting the knife. Then as the doctor, using no anesthesia, began cutting into the penis with a scalpel, "the baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill continuous screams...’
Even though the pain is evident, I can hear some women saying, “I hear an uncircumcised penis is unhealthy or it looks funny.” First of all, if a man is not hygienic, it has nothing to do with the foreskin of his penis, he’s just nasty. Secondly, if it’s funny looking before the snip, it probably will be after.
I’m definitely not telling people what to do but I would like to open up some dialogue. Let’s have a modern conversation on an ancient procedure.
I would love to hear from men who are circumcised and from those that are not. It’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of, afterall, God made us perfect. And ladies, let me know your take on uncircumcised penises. Do you have a preference? Do you have circumcised children? Any regrets or concerns?
------------------------
Here are some links and information I found:
Did you circumcise your baby boy?
yes (10,712)
40%
no (15,875)
59%
Total Votes: 26,587
(survey on about.com)
‘Circumcision!’ - http://dherbs.com/articles/circumcision-258.html
‘Care of an intact Penis’ http://pediatrics.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=pediatrics&cdn=health&tm=1065&gps=539_471_1020_431&f=00&su=p284.9.336.ip_p726.5.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.cirp.org/pages/parents/peron1/
‘Doctors Opposing Circumcision’ - http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
Journal of the American Medical Association, ‘Circumcision in the United States’ - http://www.cirp.org/library/general/laumann/
Men’s Health, ‘Should All Males be Circumcised?’ - http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=health&category=other.diseases.ailments&conitem=6a8cd36265f1f110VgnVCM10000013281eac____
I know I’m not a guy and the only thing severed from me at birth was the umbilical cord, but I may give birth to a son one day so the thought has crossed my mind: will I get my new born circumcised? It is becoming less common for parents to have this procedure done but it’s so taboo that people don’t share this information, probably in fear of ridicule.
I believe circumcision was more for population control more than a religious right. Men already like to have sex like jack rabbits, so imagine ALL men running around with the nerve endings on their penis in tack. LAWD HAVE MERCY! LOL On the flip side, ladies, how would you feel if your clitorises was partially severed at birth? I am not one to believe the hype just because it was handed down from generation to generation. Are we here to think intuitively or regurgitate pseudo information? Anyway, once it’s done, it’s done and there’s no, uh, growing it back.
When I was a sophomore in college I read an article in the Men’s Health Magazine and it was the account of several men who decided to get circumcised as adults and all of them were very disappointed after the surgery. Their main complaint was in regards to sex; it just didn’t feel the same. The foreskin of the penis has a lot of nerves that intensifies the feeling during sex – but really that is the natural feeling and the circumcised feeling is unnatural right? The American Academy of Pediatrics have taken a stance…well sort of, they now neither discourage nor recommend the procedure. My bet is they don’t discourage it because it’s profitable and they don’t recommend it because they can’t validate its benefits.
The article ‘Should all Males be Circumcised?’ on menshealth.com states, “The founder of the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC -- get it?) first witnessed the procedure in 1979 while training for her nurse's degree. The unlucky baby, she later wrote, was ‘strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board... struggling against his restraints -- tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly" while awaiting the knife. Then as the doctor, using no anesthesia, began cutting into the penis with a scalpel, "the baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill continuous screams...’
Even though the pain is evident, I can hear some women saying, “I hear an uncircumcised penis is unhealthy or it looks funny.” First of all, if a man is not hygienic, it has nothing to do with the foreskin of his penis, he’s just nasty. Secondly, if it’s funny looking before the snip, it probably will be after.
I’m definitely not telling people what to do but I would like to open up some dialogue. Let’s have a modern conversation on an ancient procedure.
I would love to hear from men who are circumcised and from those that are not. It’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of, afterall, God made us perfect. And ladies, let me know your take on uncircumcised penises. Do you have a preference? Do you have circumcised children? Any regrets or concerns?
------------------------
Here are some links and information I found:
Did you circumcise your baby boy?
yes (10,712)
40%
no (15,875)
59%
Total Votes: 26,587
(survey on about.com)
‘Circumcision!’ - http://dherbs.com/articles/circumcision-258.html
‘Care of an intact Penis’ http://pediatrics.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=pediatrics&cdn=health&tm=1065&gps=539_471_1020_431&f=00&su=p284.9.336.ip_p726.5.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.cirp.org/pages/parents/peron1/
‘Doctors Opposing Circumcision’ - http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
Journal of the American Medical Association, ‘Circumcision in the United States’ - http://www.cirp.org/library/general/laumann/
Men’s Health, ‘Should All Males be Circumcised?’ - http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=health&category=other.diseases.ailments&conitem=6a8cd36265f1f110VgnVCM10000013281eac____
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I SHOT A GUN...AND I LIKED IT!
I went to a gun range and I was so scared I was almost shaking. There was a rainfall of gun shells hitting me on my head from the guy at my right and the guy at my left. I put on my gun range armor; ear and eye protectors, a mean mug, and then I got in my stance. All the while I was thinking, “What the hell am I doing here?” Side note: ladies this can make a hot date. It’s not so bad to have a handsome man lightly grip your waist as he shows you the proper shooting techniques.
So the instructions from my friend were simple: point, aim and shoot for the target. I was already warned that I would either love or hate shooting and I would know immediately after the first shot.
BOOM!
The sound of the gun echoed throughout my entire body. The lead sprays so fast that the gun gives a “kick back,” so you really have to hold the gun steady. I fired a round and I was feeling really proud of myself. We pulled up the target to see how I did…nothing. I hit everything but the target. No, I’m serious. I actually hit the clip that the target was attached to. I could see that being an expert on these things would take a lot of practice but I immediately discovered…I LIKED IT.
Okay, so I was shooting a .357 revolver because the gun shop owner recommends them for women, as his wife and daughter have made that their gun of choice and they carry them in their purses (and guys thought we just carried lipstick and feminine products). He said they like the revolver because you basically just point and shoot. Ladies, if you’re ever in danger, the last thing you want to think about is loading a clip and cocking the gun. So I was sold on test driving the revolver for that reason and also because they don’t jam like a semi-automatic gun has the chance of doing. I was seriously thrown into gun 101 class but I was definitely enjoying the lessons.
My friends bought guns that day and I left there with information on the gun I wanted plus the laser grip I fell in love with. I had the application for gun registration, too. I was totally ready to make a purchase but something hit me: if I buy a gun, damn, there is a chance I might use it one day and let me tell you, that is a scary thought.
So, I was straddling the fence but I did make a decision, but first I would love to hear how the women feel about carrying a gun. Do you have one, ladies? Also, how do the fellas feel about their women being equipped to shoot a firearm?
So the instructions from my friend were simple: point, aim and shoot for the target. I was already warned that I would either love or hate shooting and I would know immediately after the first shot.
BOOM!
The sound of the gun echoed throughout my entire body. The lead sprays so fast that the gun gives a “kick back,” so you really have to hold the gun steady. I fired a round and I was feeling really proud of myself. We pulled up the target to see how I did…nothing. I hit everything but the target. No, I’m serious. I actually hit the clip that the target was attached to. I could see that being an expert on these things would take a lot of practice but I immediately discovered…I LIKED IT.
Okay, so I was shooting a .357 revolver because the gun shop owner recommends them for women, as his wife and daughter have made that their gun of choice and they carry them in their purses (and guys thought we just carried lipstick and feminine products). He said they like the revolver because you basically just point and shoot. Ladies, if you’re ever in danger, the last thing you want to think about is loading a clip and cocking the gun. So I was sold on test driving the revolver for that reason and also because they don’t jam like a semi-automatic gun has the chance of doing. I was seriously thrown into gun 101 class but I was definitely enjoying the lessons.
My friends bought guns that day and I left there with information on the gun I wanted plus the laser grip I fell in love with. I had the application for gun registration, too. I was totally ready to make a purchase but something hit me: if I buy a gun, damn, there is a chance I might use it one day and let me tell you, that is a scary thought.
So, I was straddling the fence but I did make a decision, but first I would love to hear how the women feel about carrying a gun. Do you have one, ladies? Also, how do the fellas feel about their women being equipped to shoot a firearm?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
COMMITMENT GUIDELINES
GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND COMMITMENT GUIDELINES:
-Focus on growing your FRIENDSHIP
-Agree to an EXCLUSIVE relationship
-Titles (boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, etc) are OPTIONAL, based on the couple
-Commit to the person for who they are right now, and not who you think they can POTENTIALLY be
-Set BOUNDARIES that both partners agree on
-BE REAL – so your friendship can reflect that. Be you from the jump!
-LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH – so if it’s too much work, you have the option to walk away
HUSBAND/WIFE COMMITMENT GUIDELINES:
-Marry your BEST FRIEND
-A formal commitment to an EXCLUSIVE relationship
-Titles ARE NOT OPTIONAL
-Eliminated the POTENTIALS and determined this person (good and bad) is who I want, raw and uncensored
-Set BOUNDARIES that both partners agree on (could be same from before marriage)
-Continue to BE REAL so your marriage will be based in truth
-LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH – it takes hard work but don’t make quitting an option
Thursday, January 22, 2009
My man, yes...but a husband you are not!
I’m trying to get a clear understanding of what being “committed” means in these days and times. A piece of paper will undoubtedly legalize the union but, theoretically, you both were still monogamous prior to the ceremony. You use this time as a testing period to see if this person can hold your interest...for life. Guidelines and boundaries are established early on in the relationship, even if they are subtle exchanges of information.
Often we solely say, “Yes we are together,” and just expect the other party to be on the same page; we expect them to act along the perimeters we deem feasible. So, I don’t have this down to a science, but thank God for my blog family because now I want us to create a list: GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND rules vs. HUSBAND/WIFE rules.
But first tell me if you think the GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND titles are juvenile since we are no longer girls and boys.
Here I’ll start:
I think I’d rather refer to my mate as my “man,” because a boy, he is not! On the other hand I think, to hell with the technicalities and I just want to conform to the norm. Saying “boyfriend” will cut to the chase: “yes that’s my dude, but we aren’t married, and we aren’t engaged.”
GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
Agree to an exclusive relationship
HUSBAND/WIFE COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
A formal commitment to an exclusive relationship
PLEASE ADD TO THIS SO WE CAN GET A GOOD LIST COMPILED AND FIND OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN WHAT'S EXPECTED AT THE START (GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND) AND THE END (HUSBAND/WIFE) OF A RELATIONSHIP.
Often we solely say, “Yes we are together,” and just expect the other party to be on the same page; we expect them to act along the perimeters we deem feasible. So, I don’t have this down to a science, but thank God for my blog family because now I want us to create a list: GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND rules vs. HUSBAND/WIFE rules.
But first tell me if you think the GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND titles are juvenile since we are no longer girls and boys.
Here I’ll start:
I think I’d rather refer to my mate as my “man,” because a boy, he is not! On the other hand I think, to hell with the technicalities and I just want to conform to the norm. Saying “boyfriend” will cut to the chase: “yes that’s my dude, but we aren’t married, and we aren’t engaged.”
GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
Agree to an exclusive relationship
HUSBAND/WIFE COMMITMENT GUIDELINE # 1:
A formal commitment to an exclusive relationship
PLEASE ADD TO THIS SO WE CAN GET A GOOD LIST COMPILED AND FIND OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN WHAT'S EXPECTED AT THE START (GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND) AND THE END (HUSBAND/WIFE) OF A RELATIONSHIP.
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