It's been said you should believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.
How do you deal with trust? Do you instantly rely on your intuition or do you believe it takes time and everyone should have a chance to prove themselves to be trust worthy?
10 comments:
It depends on the context in which you are attempting to trust them...(such an eloquent sentence and thought...LOL)
I don't trust anyone but my momma, my sister, and my brother. I trust people to be themselves and do what's in the best interest for them at all times. If they do something outside of them thinking about themselves..I appreciate it. If you keep your expectations low, you can never be disappointed.
I have a real problem with trust. I generally go into situations with not expecting trust at all, and making it the exception if it appears, very much the same way I feel about customer service (it has gone out the window!!) I have a hard time believing that people can be trust-worthy. Backed into a corner the rat always squeals. Sorry for the low down and dirty analogy, but it's the closest thing I could come up with, as to how human beings treat one another. Now don't get me wrong, there are good deeds being done all day everyday, with trust as their motivation. I think thats great and we need that. We all need help at some point in life. However, it just seems much easier to me not to hold people accountable for being trust-worthy, thus I can protect my feelings, and my image of the other person. At the core of it all, in a perfect world scenario, I would love to relax with people and have a sense of trust. I just don't think it's possible to let your guard down. Even intimate relationship is a question mark... so where do you win? Yeah I would say my mom is on the top of the list on trust for sure! and I've even seen my mom throw me under the bus to my dad several times, and I'm like "Ma, I thought that was between me and you...what happened!? It's always a gray area...I give up...
I keep my expectations low for newly released movies...but not people. LOL
I try to trust people until they give me a reason not to, then it may be irreparable. If you are one-hundred with me, then the trust grows over time but just one slip up and your back to zero. I trust different people with different things because people are better equipped to handle certain things.
My mother told me once that she didn’t trust me and that really hurt. Now, I was in high school and a little wild-n-out, but I remember feeling I would do anything to earn her trust back. It’s better to start with it then to have to earn it back because that’s an uphill battle and one you can’t control – the other person will determine if it’s warranted.
I trust you until you give me reason not to trust you. Over the years that has been my model. Lately it is to the point to were I let you hang yourself, and now a days majority of people are out for themselves to some extent. For example my co worker we have been cool since we both started working at this store. We talk to each other about all sorts of things. So I trusted her. Until she showed me another side of her, so now my trust for her is lax. I know there are certain things I can discuss with her now, which is fine. In this world you deal with all sorts of people so your trust for each individual person is going to be different. So you go with your instincts, if you are not able to trust a person whole heartedly then hey it is what it is. If you are then again it is what it is. Let your inner self speak to you about your trust for individuals and take it from there.
I trust you until you give me reason not to trust you. Over the years that has been my model. Lately it is to the point to were I let you hang yourself, and now a days majority of people are out for themselves to some extent. For example my co worker we have been cool since we both started working at this store. We talk to each other about all sorts of things. So I trusted her. Until she showed me another side of her, so now my trust for her is lax. I know there are certain things I can discuss with her now, which is fine. In this world you deal with all sorts of people so your trust for each individual person is going to be different. So you go with your instincts, if you are not able to trust a person whole heartedly then hey it is what it is. If you are then again it is what it is. Let your inner self speak to you about your trust for individuals and take it from there.
I think we all get disappointed because we try trusting man. Flesh is just that! We can't do anything about it. We all fall short, so at some point, trusting man will get your feelings hurt. I believe we have to put our trust in God. Allow Him to assist us in our everyday process. That's not to say that set backs won't happen or disappointments won't occur, but it will guarantee that things will work out in our favor. Psalm 9:10 says "And they who know Your name [who have experience and acquaintance with Your mercy] will lean on and confidently put their trust in You, for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek (inquire of and for) You [on the authority of God's Word and the right of their necessity].
I tell myself that someone needs to earn my trust, but really, I think I do trust people from the start. Because I am trustworthy and I maybe give people too much credit. However, depending on the type of relationship, that level of beginning trust is different. I'll trust you some, but you have to earn that true trust, that trusted trust if you will. The kind where you feel comfortable telling them your fears and they can see you vulnerable. And people can lose your trust too...by their actions (and lack thereof), their words. But i've also learned the hard way that family can lose your trust and that you should always trust your gut (as long as it doesnt stem from an irrational fear). And telling the difference is where you have to know yourself and trust yourself.
Everyone starts out on neutral grounds with me:neither trustworthy or deceitful. Everyone deserves that. Once i get more familiar with your word(its your bond and all you have to stand on)and your ability to follow through with it, then you work your way up the trust ladder...or down if you speak things you do not intend to do or be. I, unlike most, dont have trust issues and i feel that is why the majority of my relationships, whether work, or personal are all great!Naive, im not, but once i realize that people are just that...PEOPLE, they are bound to err, including myself. but the same level of accountability i hold to myself, I hold to others, thus getting favorable results...HAPPY TRUSTING, YA'LL!!
I think in terms of trust for myself it's a combination of listening to my intuition, paying attention to the sight, sound, & signs that present themselves, while setting standards & boundaries in every friendship/relationship. It's an empty feeling to never trust or have faith that you can trust again in a lifetime. Much like respect at times people will only treat you the way you let them treat you & disregard any trust you may have put in them. No this is not fail proof & no we aren't meant to trust everyone we meet, but it's a part of life put in place to learn from if nothing else, for our betterment and growth. You may not know if a person is 100% trustworthy but your intuition definitely tells you when they aren't.
Trust comes with time, tests, trials, & that little voice in your head or feeling in your heart that tells you that it feels right or it feels wrong, or it's ok to relax & have faith that God won't steer you wrong. We are all human and with that come mistakes that may set us back but by no means should it cut us off from ever trusting again.
When I entrust someone with intimate thoughts or feelings & they entrust me with their thoughts & feelings, I have a certain level of trust in them. When someone takes the time to recognize the little details in life not concerning themselves with the superficial I have a certain level of trust & respect for them, and when I feel deep down in my soul that that person is genuine & truly cares for my well being, I trust them.
I trust based on the connection, bond, or feeling, opening myself up with each new relationship or experience because thats the only way to live life in my view. To be scared to trust, live, love is to be trapped in a man made prison never living life to full capacity or experiencing the endless possibilities waiting for us. Yes we will feel hurt, pain, suffering but that's what makes us stronger and wiser in the end. Take from each encounter the mental nutrients that you were meant to have leaving the rest behind.
I don't want to look back on my life with what ifs in terms of limiting myself as a result of being afraid to trust. (Bringing it to a close...)
I take a trip abroad every year with Sahsha & Shelli, who I trust full heartedly as both sisters & friends because my soul tells me that they are good genuine people. With every trip we meet a new group of strangers that teach us something new about friendship and trust. It's a pure feeling, a gift to be able to do so & a blessing to find genuine souls to connect with. So in closing... Appreciate the ability to trust & use the tools and self education that God has entrusted us to have. Appreciate the beings that have been placed in our lives taking a step back to see the bigger picture of it all instead of only being attentive to the hear & now which can often blind us.
Take care!
Despite having trust "issues", I tend to trust everyone! I never bring baggage into a new situation, so I trust everyone until you have shown me otherwise. In the past I would trust everyone to a fault. Now I trust people to be exactly who they SHOW me they are and not who I THINK they are or better yet...who I WANT them to be. At the end of the day I trust me and me only! I know who I am, what I'm capable of and what I will do...I cannot say the same for anyone else.
Aisha La*
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